CODE RED - Janet Mylin

[00:00:06] Speaker A: And one night I was tucking Lucy in at shebed and she's praying, you know, her prayers. And she said, and dear God, would you please give me a sister from China? And I was like, I wanted to be like a good mom of like, what a sweet. Yeah. But I literally said, but we're not doing that, honey. I was like, crush that, you know, I was like, but we're not really planning to do that, but okay. And I said, okay, God. And I don't know why it was in my head, I said, if you want us to adopt from China, fine, but good. I said, good luck providing the money for that is what I said to God. Like, good luck providing money for that. And it was so casual, such a sidebar. I didn't even tell my husband. I prayed it. I didn't tell anybody I prayed it. I just said that. And maybe it was two days later our pastor at the time called me and he's like, hey, you guys have time to talk today? And he's like, I got some news that might change your whole life. And I was like, ha ha, okay, whatever. He's funny. So we're like, okay, come change our lives, whatever. So he came over and he said, hey, I know Lucy has always wanted to, like, go to China. Her daughter Lucy, she's always loved Asian culture and things. And he said, I don't know if you've ever considered adopting from China, but there's a couple in our church who wants to give you $20,000 to adopt from China. [00:01:33] Speaker B: I'm very excited about today's episode of Code Red and I'm not even on the show. Today we have a guest host. My wife Julie is going to sit in and have a great conversation with author and teacher Janet Milan. You know how some things are just better caught than taught. Well, Christianity requires both. And these two ladies are going to sit down today and pull the curtain back on what it looks like to be a godly Christian woman in the basic day to day disciplines of life. So take notes, invite a friend, and enjoy this episode of Code Red. [00:02:40] Speaker C: Okay? So, Janet Milan, welcome to the Code Red podcast. [00:02:43] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:02:44] Speaker C: We're so happy to have you in the area this weekend for our women's event at church. And I've just been dying to chitchat with you because the more I have learned about you, the more I see that we have a lot we could talk about a lot in common. [00:02:59] Speaker A: Right? I feel like we could probably do a spin off podcast, just the two of us and see how that goes yes. I'm so grateful to be here. I mean, when someone asks you to come from Pennsylvania to Florida, it's an easy yes for first of all. And then the people I've met are just incredible too. [00:03:14] Speaker C: Well, we're so happy to have you. And I hope that this day, this conversation is just going to be filled with things that I like to think of myself not as old, but as maybe a little more seasoned than a lot of the moms and the women in my church family and in our community that are really in the thick of the, you know, getting all the kids to all their sporting activities and dealing with picky eaters and all of the heavy stress and busyness that motherhood brings. And now I'm starting to hear myself say things like, oh, yeah, I went through that. And people, you know, younger women are surprised sometimes like, oh, you went through that or you had that illness, or that your child went through this or that. And it really does provide a lot of encouragement and comfort, I think, to see. For them to see. You are gonna get through this. [00:04:14] Speaker A: Right. It is kind of a wake up call, isn't it? When you look around, you think, who are some of the older women who could. And you're like, oh, it's me. I'm one of the older women. [00:04:23] Speaker C: Right, Right. So tell me just a little bit about your family. Why don't we start there? Because maybe your husband, your children, their ages, that sort of thing. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Okay. So my husband Andy, he and I have been married, it'll be 29 years this November. So we got married in 96. We've been friends since seventh grade. And yeah, he's the best. So we're just totally in love with each other and we love marriage. [00:04:50] Speaker C: Wow, that is such a gift to know somebody since seventh grade. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Right. In fact, the night I met him is also the night that I gave my heart to the Lord. So I didn't know it then, but I met my husband and my heavenly father on the same night, which is amazing. [00:05:02] Speaker C: Wow. [00:05:02] Speaker A: He was a seventh grade boy at the time, so you can imagine it wasn't love at first sight. But. So that's our marriage and we have three children. Our oldest is 23 and she's adulting, doing the adult thing. She lives in South Carolina. And we have a biological son who's 17, and we have an adopted daughter who's 19. But what's unique is my son and my adopted daughter are in the same grade. So they're both graduating from high school in June from the same high School. So we've got both of them graduating at the same time, which is emotional. Yeah, it's an emotional thing. And like, wow, okay, what have we done? Why are they both graduating the same year? So we have three children, two biological and one adopted from China. [00:05:52] Speaker C: Okay. Wow. And so, yeah, I can tell that we're going to have so many, so many rabbit holes we could, we could run down. But. Well, and so, you know, I have three children also, two daughters and a son. So. And both of our sons are musical. [00:06:08] Speaker A: Right. [00:06:08] Speaker C: So we do. We just have a lot of, a lot of things in common. Well, and tell me about your. Just a little bit about your history and your life as a. Just a minister to women in the church in Pennsylvania, in America. I just, Just to kind of catch people up on your journey that way. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Sure. Well, I think I have been always kind of brave to just do whatever is happening. People say, hey, can you do this? I'll be like, sure. And I think that started probably when I graduated, graduated from high school. I actually lived in Ukraine for two years right out of high school. This would have been the year after communism fell in Ukraine. And I helped plant the first YWAM youth as a mission discipleship training school in Ukraine ever as an 18, 19 year old kid. But I was just like, okay, let's do that. I was just always very willing to do things. So there's where I began leading worship a little bit, doing some teaching. I was just a kid, but I was just doing what needed to be done. [00:07:11] Speaker C: And didn't you say that maybe your dad had a history in missions? [00:07:15] Speaker A: Yeah, well, his history wasn't in missions. His recent history is in missions. But he had been really transformed by the Lord and called by God when he was just a teenager. So when he was 17, he was doing tent meetings, you know, and now he's 82. He travels the world with advancing native missions to encourage native missionaries and native pastors in their faith. And I mean, it's an incredible legacy to have for sure. So. But as far as ministry goes, I'm just trying to make myself available to whatever God wants me to do. I do find myself speaking to women, you know, more often and moms and younger moms because they have a lot of questions and a lot of doubts. I think I have a tremendous amount of empathy for moms nowadays because I didn't have social media when my kids were growing up and I didn't have those comparison. Like, I mean, there's comparison, but it wasn't as rampant and as accessible as it is now. And. [00:08:13] Speaker C: Well, and, you know, I thought when my kids started getting into social media that the danger would be that they were going to be comparing themselves to other peers, which is definitely an issue. But I really didn't think about that it could affect me and that I would be tempted to compare my life or my choices to other women and just feel. I could easily feel like a failure because I wasn't following a certain path or a certain conviction or whatever that someone across the country that I really don't know would post about. [00:08:48] Speaker A: I can't imagine how obsessive I would have been, too, as a mom looking even for a product for my child with the Internet, with Amazon. Because when I bought my kid a car seat, we went to Target and we picked out of, like, three car seats. Well, that one works. That's the one we can afford. That's the one we'll get. We didn't have hundreds or thousands of choices. And then all the reviews and, well, what does this celebrity use for their car seat? Or what is this? You know, what's the. All the things. [00:09:18] Speaker C: What's the most aesthetic car seat? [00:09:21] Speaker A: Right, right. It was like, well, the one they have at Target is the most aesthetic car seat. And I can't imagine how paralyzing that would be. I think it would add to the weight of just all the changes that come with motherhood to also be like, okay, perfect is the word we're going for. Perfect product, the perfect food. What's the perfect diet? What's this? I think that would be very overwhelming. So I have a lot of empathy for moms these days. Cause I think it would be very difficult. [00:09:49] Speaker C: Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna jump right into something that I know that you have a passion for. When it comes to what you would love to see moms and women that are just trying to do life well, just be able to figure out and walk confidently in. And that is just reading and studying the Bible regularly. [00:10:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:13] Speaker C: That is just something that. It seems so element and simple. And as Christian women, we know that that is part of our calling and part of our desire to be a part of our lives. But just practically, it seems like either we. Either people get paralyzed in the perfection of, well, I'm not doing enough, or I'm not doing this plan, or life just gets really overwhelming and it can get just booted out of the priority mix. So can you just talk to us about what you would say to your friends and other women about how do you study the Bible? [00:10:54] Speaker A: Well, I love my Bible. I love my Bible. I love the Bible, but this is my Bible, you know, where you can picture a verse in a certain part of the page and find it. And I have to say, my relationship with God's Word wasn't always so inviting. I was kind of raised with maybe some superstitions around the Bible, for lack of a better word. Just different ways of how you actually handle the book itself and how you treat it and things. And I never saw God's Word as being for me, like, intimately for me. I saw it as a book of rules, maybe for me, but not invitation into intimacy with the living God for me. And as I began to be around women who studied the Word and started to see, wow, they're just getting more than I am. Like, they seem to actually love this Word of God. And I just kind of see it as, well, something I do. And as I started to learn from other women and how they studied, then I realized, I think I want to dive into that too. I want to know what the more is of the Word of God. And so I just started reading it more and doing different study things. But I will say this. It's looked different in different seasons. I can remember a season when my. My daughter was like a toddler, maybe two, and I thought, okay, I'm gonna get up in the morning early, earlier than her, because that's what someone said to do, to read the Bible, and I'm gonna do that. And Julie, every time I got up early, every single time I'd hear the pitter patter of her little feet. Somehow she was also got the notice that we were getting up early and come in and like. And I remember feeling so defeated, like, oh, now I'll never connect with God. Or in the winter, I would go out and sit on our swing, like in the winter in Pennsylvania, with a huge quilt around me to just so I could be out there in case she did wake up and she'd have to wake up my husband and not me. And just these seasons. And there was times when I would have my Bible just open on the kitchen counter to a scripture. And as I'd walk by, I would read it or just hope something would catch my eye as I walked by it, because I didn't have time. I didn't have the time that I wanted to have. But it was still. It's still God's Word and it still is transforming, even if it's in a tidbit or hours. And now I'm in a season where I can get up and, you know, I can spend as much time as I want in the Word, and I love that, too. But I think I would want moms to know the word of God needs to be a. Now, that doesn't mean that you compare your reading of God's Word with somebody else who has a couple hours a day to read the Word. But it means that you realize it's important for you, that it actually is nourishment for you. Even if you don't feel it in the moment, it is nourishing you. So whatever that looks like for you. I have friends who listen to the Bible because reading is just, you know, putting a book out. The kid's gonna, you know, color it with crayons or something. You know, my heart's gonna get spit up on it or something like that. Or friends who have, like, an app or some friends who at night is the best time for them to just, you know, read some scripture and get it into their minds. Some do get up early. Some, you know, do it when their kids napping, and some, maybe they go all week and they don't have any time. But on Sunday mornings or Saturday afternoons or something, they have a time carved out to just spend time in the Word. But it's important that we get it into us and not compare ourselves to how other people do it who are in a different season of life than we are, too. Sure. [00:14:35] Speaker C: Absolutely. I know we live in a community that does have quite a few newly retired people, and I've noticed that. That they have time for Wednesday morning Bible study and Tuesday morning prayer group and different things that even now I don't have time to do yet. I have to pick and choose things. And I know when I was in that season, when my kids were in grade school, that that would have just not been an option. But it does make. It can make you feel like, well, I'm not doing enough or I'm not. I can't be as close to the Lord unless I go through this whole program. [00:15:14] Speaker A: Right? Yeah. And you did ask how I study it. And so currently, in my current season, I have a friend. Her name is Ann Yorks. Hi, Ann. Shout out to you. She's incredible. And we're studying the book of Hebrews, and I'm finding it to be really valuable. There's a place for studying, doing topical studies. I love that, too. But I would encourage people listening or watching to not be afraid to study a book of the Bible because you get this picture of the book once you kind of get the Vibe of the person who wrote it and their meaning behind it and who they're talking to. And then you see it from beginning to end, and you get a whole different perspective. You get a bigger picture of it. When you read, you study into a book. And so my friend and I right now are studying the book of Hebrews. We're using a book written by Nancy Guthrie, who's one of my favorite. I call her a sheologian. We're using a book that she wrote about that, taking us through the book of Hebrews. And we get Together every week, 7am on Tuesdays at Duncan. You know, we're of a Duncan in between us, and we have our coffee and we study the book of Hebrews together. And so that's what we do. For my study, I'm also. And this is a little bit embarrassing, but I'm reading through the Bible in a year. But I'm on my fourth year of reading through the Bible in a year. Like, it's taken me four years to read through the Bible. My goal is to finish it this year, but I will read through. I have a program I'm going through. I'm reading. So right now I have time where I can do both of those things, but I love it. And when I'm reading through the Bible in a year, if I'm just reading scripture with no particular goal or study in mind, what I look for is things like all speed bumps. So I might be reading. Like today I was reading through Proverbs 13 and 14. And I was reading and, like, writing the different things and looking. But then one verse was a speed bump. And it was Proverbs 14, one that says that a wise woman builds her home, but a woman of folly tears it down with her own hands. So that was a speed bump. I wasn't gonna push past it. Cause it caught my attention. And so then I'll just sit and think, okay, why would a woman tear down something with her hands? Oh. Cause she thinks it's meaningless or worthless or doesn't have value. And I think, okay, Lord, I know women, I've been there, too, who think that they're doing such a terrible job. That their home, their family, what they're doing isn't even of value. Lord, I pray that you would help these women walk in wisdom so they don't tear down their home with their own hands. So that's kind of how. What I call speed bump. The speed bump method is not officially, you know, tagged. Maybe I should, you know, tag that. [00:18:01] Speaker C: Yeah, I like that. [00:18:02] Speaker A: So that's. That's one thing I do when I'm just reading through Scripture. What gets my attention? What stops me? [00:18:07] Speaker C: Right, right. Well, and I think you said something about having a friend, you know, going, meeting up with a friend. Sometimes that can be super effective. I think kind of knowing yourself is important. I don't love necessarily doing a topical Bible study with another book that's sort of telling me what they got from Scripture, because I think I was just taught early on to just read a book of the Bible and study it from commentaries and learn straight from the source. And once. It's like, once you get a taste of that, it's really hard to get satisfied with less, I think. [00:18:49] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:50] Speaker C: But if. But when I have found someone else who's also. Even if it's a discipleship relationship, someone else is going through Philippians with me. In college, the first time I was ever discipled, my small group leader and I read through Philippians together, and it was so impactful that she was taking the time. I believe she had seven children at the time, and she was taking the time to read Scripture all the time to meet with me and to. She had such confidence that God, that the Holy Spirit would speak to her through His Word about what he wanted her to know. And it really built my confidence that God can speak to me through His Word. [00:19:33] Speaker A: Right, right. And, you know, studying with somebody else who has a different story than you is really powerful. So my friend Ann that I mentioned, she's gonna be like, why are you talking about me so much? But so for her, she became a Christian as an adult, and so her story is so different from mine. I became a Christian when I was in seventh grade and raised in a Christian home. And so. But I'm an adoptive mom, so I have this perspective on things in Scripture that talk about our adoption, you know, as his children, as God's children that she doesn't have. But she has this perspective on grace that I don't have as much she has. And it's valuable because you realize, oh, not everyone sees everything as I do. We need to get each other's perspectives because we all have these different intimate experiences with the Word of God based on what we've been through and what we're going through, what we've experienced. Experienced, you know, our life, growing up, all of it. And it's really valuable to hear other people's viewpoints because you. You miss stuff otherwise. So first, like I said, I'll. Maybe we'll think about the why behind it. Why would a woman tear down her house with her own hands? That doesn't make any sense. Who would do that? And, you know, and follow that kind of train of thought and more of a practical way. I also love the Blue Letter Bible app. So that's. There's several apps. But the Blue Letter Bible app I like because I can actually look into the original meaning of the word in Hebrew or Greek or Aramaic, really. And so sometimes it's mind blowing. Like, oh, my goodness, that's what that means. But like, for instance, Proverbs 31, 30, where trauma is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised, that word praised. The root word of that is this halal word, which is also hallelujah. Like, it's the root of hallelujah. Like, the woman who fears the Lord has that same radiance that is coming out of her life of when we praise God to say Hallelujah, God. Which is just amazing. So I'll maybe look into the different words of that originally. And. Yeah. And then maybe if I'll. It'll. My husband makes fun of me because sometimes he'll say, I'll talk about when I'm reading a scripture and I'll be like, and that made me think of this, and that made me think of this. And that reminded me of this because I'm just like going all around my Bible thinking of what it reminds me of. So I'll think, does this remind me of something else? So for Proverbs 14:1, I may have thought, oh, what about the wise man who builds his house on the rock? The foolish man who builds his house on the sand? I might be thinking about that and go to different Scriptures. [00:22:06] Speaker C: So if you have time, you sort of research through the Bible and just find more, I guess a little, I don't know, a nice little package of truths that kind of tie together. [00:22:18] Speaker A: Right. [00:22:19] Speaker C: Do you write all that down in one place or do you just try to remember it? [00:22:25] Speaker A: I really like journaling Bibles. So my Bible has these wide spaces on the sides, and I like to write right in my Bible if there's anything in particular that's on my mind. Cause if I write, I do journal. I journal almost every day, and I have since I can remember. But if I write in my journal, I'll probably never find it again. So I do like to write it right in my Bible, and that's where I like to write it. And another thing that might actually be helpful for moms with all the things in Their brain. When I'm praying or reading my Bible, I usually have a piece of paper beside me that is just for things that come into my mind that I don't want to forget. Like, oh, I need to buy more cat food. [00:23:10] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:23:12] Speaker A: Or, oh, I need to call this person. I need to answer that email. So I will, like. Because I don't want to forget to do it. But if I don't write it down, then that's what will consume my thoughts. But I kind of just do a little. Let me put this over here. Put a pin in it over here. Write it down so I can forget about it, so I can focus on what I'm doing. I think that's a really great help because things do come into our minds. We're not unholy because we're thinking about buying cat food while we're reading the book of Proverbs. It's just part of our life. But if we can just put it somewhere so we can set it aside and focus on the Word, that really helps me in my everyday Bible study and prayer life. [00:23:49] Speaker C: Well, and I know that I've gone through different relationships with technology and using paper, you know, a tangible Bible and a journal and a pen, and then using an app that has prayer requests and then it has a place to take notes. And so I know either way can work. But I love that you have something tangible that you have all your notes in one place in your Bible. I think that's really beautiful and something your kids will treasure too, you know, in the future. [00:24:23] Speaker A: So, yeah, I also sometimes if I'm having a hard time, like focusing when I sit down to spend time in the Word or prayer, because sometimes I just can't. I just. I don't know, I'm just not feeling it, you know, and that's. I'm like a normal human sometimes I'm just like, I don't really want to do this right now. I don't feel like it. You know, my emotions get in the way. And one thing I do too, that I use to help me just kind of like stay where I am and be present. As I love the Lectio 365 app. And that's like you're praying through things. It's more of a contemplative prayer kind of app. And people have really cool accents in it too, so that's always a help. They sound more spiritual somehow when they have these really cool accents. I don't know how that is, but. [00:25:10] Speaker C: We'Ll have to try to put links to these. [00:25:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:12] Speaker C: These resources. [00:25:13] Speaker A: Yeah. It's a free app and I really. And that sometimes just. It's just a few minutes, I'll just. Okay. And that helps me sometimes just to get in the zone, so to speak, for prayer and reading the word and just listening to God or just being quiet before him. Yeah, well. [00:25:29] Speaker C: And when it comes to just praying for your family and specifically your children, what are some ways that you have found are really effective to pray for your kids? [00:25:41] Speaker A: Yeah, well, effective. I feel like so much of our prayers for our kids, very rarely is it something that. Well, let me say it this way. I'm aware that some of the prayers I'm praying for my kids I may not even be alive to see happen, you know, as I'm praying for generations beyond. And so. [00:25:59] Speaker C: But some prayers, even that, that is, that's really important. And I don't think in our culture, I don't think that women are taught to think long term, to think about the legacy they're building by being a mother, by being a present prayerful mother, you're affecting your grandchildren and your great grandchildren and their. Their lives and their eternities. So I love that you are considering what's going to happen after you're gone. You know, when you pray, that's awesome, right? [00:26:36] Speaker A: Well, you know, it's by the grace of God. And also I have parents who prayed for us every day. My mom went to be with Jesus in 2018. My dad is still around traveling the world. But I know they prayed for me and my children and my dad still probably every day is praying for all. There's a bunch of us because I'm the youngest of five, there's 17 grandchildren and they're starting to get married and all the things are happening. But I know that and I see the fruit of that. Our families faith doesn't make sense without that. It makes sense because of their prayers for us. So I'm like, okay, I want to be praying too. Not like A plus B equals C, but why not? Yeah, exactly. [00:27:21] Speaker C: The prayer of a righteous man availeth much, you know? [00:27:24] Speaker A: Yeah. So one way I like to pray for my kids. So I guess I'm shouting out Nancy Guthrie quite a bit. First of all, she has a book, Praying through the Bible for. I don't know what the exact title. We can put a link to it also, but Praying through the Bible through the Year for Children, something like that. But it's really good because as I'm reading it, I'm always, I'm just. It's deep it's meaty. It's meaty. And the prayers are meaty. And the prayers you're praying for your kids are like, okay, Lord, do I want to pray this for my kid? I know it's scriptural, but, you know, just. They're meaty. They're not just things you can just run over and not notice. So I do like that as a resource. But the thing I use most often is my Bible. So before my children, my two children were born, and before we adopted Eve, I would just ask the Lord for a scripture to pray over them. And that's not a magical thing, like, lord, give me the scripture for my child. It's just, lord, what would you like me to pray for this child? What does this child need over their life? And so for each of my kids, God has given me a scripture for them, and I'll use my daughter Eve, our adopted daughter, as an example. One thing that we say to Eve and we pray over Eve is, eve, you are a seed, not a stone. You are a seed, not a stone. And Eve means this giver of life. And we just want her to know that her life is meant to bring more life, that it's not a stone. And so my daughter Lucy was the one who found a scripture verse for Eve. And what I do in my Bible is I have all these tabs here, and I actually have tabs that are actually labeled with my children's names. So I have one here that's labeled Eve, and I'll open it up, and her scripture is out of Hosea, the end of Hosea. And I took the scripture verse, and I wrote it out as a prayer here, and I taped it in my Bible here. And let me just read my scripture. I pray over my daughter Eve. God will be like the dew to Eve. She shall blossom like the lily. She shall take root like the trees of Lebanon. Her shoots shall spread out. Her beauty shall be like the olive, and her fragrance like Lebanon. Eve shall return and dwell beneath God's shadow. She shall flourish like the grain. She shall blossom like the vine. Her fame shall be like the wine of Lebanon. And I wrote, yes, and amen. Eve is a seed, not a stone. And I have one for Jack, and I have one for Lucy. I have one for a family. I have one for a church, like our church gave us our word for the year, our scripture for the year. And I just made a tab in my Bible Church 2025. So I know that I can go to that tab and I have that scripture, and I can pray that scripture for my church, you know, agreeing with our leadership, and that's what God's doing in our church. But that's one of my favorite ways to pray for my kids. Cause it's always right here. If I'm sitting down, I'm like, lord, I don't know what to pray for this kid. I don't know. What are you gonna do? I just read scripture. That scripture prayer for them. [00:30:30] Speaker C: That is beautiful. And something else I really love about it is that it keeps a vision for your child before you. So when maybe you're struggling or your child is struggling with something or they're frustrating, you can remind yourself to see them how God sees them. You know, like, I think that would be. [00:30:52] Speaker A: I hadn't thought about that. But you're right. It transforms me, too. [00:30:56] Speaker C: Yeah, it keeps you. You know, it keeps. My husband always says he likes to try to see people with a 10, you know, over their heads and just see the potential that God has, you know, in every person. And sometimes when you know your kids and you see their struggles, that is the hardest thing to do, you know? So I love that. That was very helpful. [00:31:19] Speaker A: I love that, too, that what you just said about your husband, what he sees a 10 over people. Because just yesterday, I was thinking about out of Psalm 10, 1:3, when David says, I will set no worthless thing before my eyes. And I was meditating on that all day. Now I say meditating. I wasn't just sitting and, like, meditating. I was, like, going to airports and stuff. But I was just chewing on it all day. And I thought about. And I was like, lord, whenever I'm looking at a person, I'm never setting my eyes on a worthless thing. Like, whenever I'm looking at someone, you made in your image, my child, this stranger in front of me on the airplane, all these people. It's never a worthless thing. Whenever I'm looking at a human, I'm setting my eyes on something that has a 10 above them every time. That's great. I'll remember that. [00:32:07] Speaker C: Oh, that's awesome. Well, I know we could. We could keep on this subject forever, but I would love to hear a little more about your journey in adoption. I know that you have a little bit of a unique story because you did adopt internationally. You did have two biological children, and your daughter was already nine years old when she came to live with you, when she became a part of the Myelin family. So can you just tell us the backstory first? [00:32:44] Speaker A: Well, it's kind of miraculous. [00:32:46] Speaker C: Okay. [00:32:48] Speaker A: And every time I tell it, I'm like, yeah, that is kind of wild. So my pregnancy with my oldest daughter was very difficult. I had hyperemesis to a huge degree. Like, I just couldn't keep anything down. I was on medication. Like, I was in the hospital getting IVs. Like, it was really, really extreme. And that was difficult. And I remember the doctor saying, this is going to happen with all of your kids. Because it happened with my mom and all her kids and my sister with her kids. And I was like, well, first of all, when a doctor says this will always happen, I take that as a flag to pray. Like, no. So, but in the midst of that season, after having her, I was like, I don't know if we can. I don't know if I can do this again. So we dabbled in the idea of looking at domestic adoption. So that means adoptions that are here in the States. But it just didn't really. I don't know, it just didn't pan out. Then I did have prayer for healing from that hyperemesis when I wasn't pregnant, but planning to get pregnant with my son Jack. And God did heal me. And my pregnancy with Jack was actually very normal and good. Wow. So that's amazing. My sister was like, I prayed too, and God didn't heal me. I'm like, well, I don't know what to tell you. The Lord works in mysterious ways. But so I had these two kids, six years apart, Lucy and Jack. And one night I was tucking Lucy in to bed and she's praying, you know, her prayers. And she said, and dear God, would you please give me a sister from China? And I was like, I wanted to be like a good mom of like, what a sweet. Yeah. But I literally said, but we're not doing that, honey. I was like, crush that, you know, I was like, but we're not really planning to do that, but okay. And so I went downstairs to our bedroom and I told my husband, like, hey, Lucy prayed we'd have a dot from China. He's like, we're kind of laughing, like, oh, I guess we're gonna adopt from China. Because God always answers these kids prayers for, you know, stuff like that, right? I was like, yeah. Haha. So I don't know how long it was after that, but I was at an event, like a 5K fundraiser event, to be fair, I. To be clear, I walked it, I did not run it. But anyway, and before the event, there was a pastor praying over the event. And it was one of those things which this is going to sound very judgy of me, but he was just praying through the whole Bible. I'm like, just, just like, it just went on and on. I thought, I'm just kind of bored right now. So I did a sidebar with God. I was like, sidebar? Yeah. I thought he could listen to him and me at the same time. And I said, okay, God. And I don't know why it was in my head. I said, if you want us to adopt from China, fine, but good. I said, good luck providing the money for that, is what I said to God. Like, good luck providing money for that. And it was so casual and such a sidebar. I didn't even tell my husband. I prayed it. I didn't tell anybody I prayed it. I just said that. And maybe it was two days later, our pastor at the time called me and he's like, hey, you guys have time to talk today? And he's like, I got some news that might change your whole life. And I was like, ha, ha, okay, whatever. He's funny. So we're like, okay, come change our lives, whatever. So he came over and he said, hey, I know Lucy has always wanted to, like, go to China. Like our daughter Lucy, she's always loved Asian culture and things. And he said, I don't know if you've ever considered adopting from China, but there's a couple in our church who wants to give you $20,000 to adopt from China. Wow, I'm not kidding. Like, that's exactly what happened. So I was. My face looked like your face right now. I was like, so I go to my husband, hey, I should tell you what I prayed yesterday, because I hadn't even told him. Or whenever, I guess it was yesterday, the day before. And he goes, janet, he's like, I've been praying that I'm tired of praying for safety. I want God's adventure for our lives. That's awesome. And so it was kind of a no brainer. I'd never considered adopting from China specifically. I always thought I would adopt from like, somewhere where they spoke English, honestly, Because I thought, well, that would be easier. I don't know. But so that began the process of adopting Eve from China. It took us the other miracle too, is that that money went into an adoption fund with a specific adoption fund agency and or organization. And that lady from the agency called me one day, she said, hey, I've never made a phone call like this before, but for some reason, they're like matching half of this $20,000 in your fund. I said, why? She said, I don't know. They just are. So it was crazy because it cost us all four of us, went over, cost us like $40,000 or something for all of us to go and come back. But it took us several years to be matched with her. We knew we wanted an older child. We knew we wanted a girl. [00:37:55] Speaker C: Why did you know you wanted an older child? [00:37:58] Speaker A: I guess because of the age of our kids, you know. By the time we adopted eve, Jack was 8 and Lucy was how old? Do my math. 14. But when we started the process, Jack probably was 5 and Lucy was, you know, 11. So we kind of thought, even though technically you're not supposed to adopt a child that goes into the middle of your kids, you're supposed to adopt in birth order. But we didn't. So we just thought, we have six years between them. Let's put a child in between them. And I don't know, it made sense to us. So it took a while to be matched with Eve. The adoption process is really bizarre because you have these checklists of things that you're willing to take on and things you're not willing to take on, medically speaking, and all the things. It's just a very bizarre thing. But we knew that day, finally, when Eve's picture came up, they were like, yeah, we all agreed. And my husband and I. And for those who are in the adoption process or thinking about it, here's my advice to you. My biggest advice would be this. If you're married and you're looking to adopt, make sure you and your husband or wife, whoever you're married to. That sounded like I'm talking about homosexual marriage. It wasn't. Let me try that again. I was like, I don't want to make it sound like I'm saying that's okay, because I don't think that's okay. Okay. Okay. Y'all are doing a great job. Really. Oh, good. [00:39:36] Speaker C: Sweaty. [00:39:37] Speaker A: Okay, let me start that again with okay. And if I were to give one, like, most critical piece of advice for those who are considering adopting or in the adoption process, this is what I would say. If you are married, I would say, make sure you and your spouse are 100% always unified the whole way through the process, because things will get hard down the road. That just will. And you need to know that one of you didn't somehow coerce the other one to put you in this place. You need to know that you both were 100% all in the whole way through, so there's no blame that goes in any direction when things get hard. So that's my big piece of advice. And that's something my husband and I really stuck to. We have a lot of friends who've adopted and we learned a lot by watching them. I think you become more brave for adoption when you see people close to you do it and you're like, okay, maybe I could do it too. [00:40:35] Speaker C: Well, and it sounds like similar to, to deciding to have children or sometimes, you know, when you're married, it might be somewhat of a surprise, but you generally know you're both on the same page, that you want to have a family or not. [00:40:50] Speaker A: Right? [00:40:50] Speaker C: And so, but it sounds like with adoption there's more to it than just what a typical couple would go through in parenting. So especially probably international adoption when there's a language barrier and when you're adopting a child who has years of living without you. [00:41:11] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah, it's true. Those things are all true. And also there's also this belief that I've heard people say, well, cause people said to us, actually I think my own parents might have said it to us at some point, but that, well, why don't you adopt a baby? Cause then there's not as much wrong with them before. But I have friends who've adopted babies like fresh out of the womb. And there's still a trauma element. Every adopted person at some point needs to recognize that for some reason they're not with their biological parents. And that question of why has to be answered at some point in their minds whether they're adopted as a baby or a nine year old or older. So yeah, it's not like there's no like, foolproof way of just getting a baby. And like they just, you know, whatever. So the, the reason that I think adoptive parents, like, things will get hard is because there is a traumatic element to every adoption. Like for some reason this child is not with their biological parents. Whether that's because of death or because of choice or because of a government issue or whatever it might be in these different, different countries and the different laws and so. [00:42:34] Speaker C: Well, and I even remember, you know, I've have just stories, heard stories or have friends who have said that children even whose parents maybe died in a tragic accident still have questions either for God, but, but oftentimes for their parents that they don't, they probably don't even understand, right? But they're sort of a blame, right? Or, you know, why would, why would they leave me? [00:42:59] Speaker A: Right? [00:42:59] Speaker C: And as adults, we can look at that and be really logical and say, you know, God's providence. And it was never. It would never have been their choice and all of that. But a child just knows how they feel, right? About such a huge part of their, you know, their security being gone. [00:43:18] Speaker A: So I think a big part of becoming and being a strong woman, a strong mother, is to allow your kids to wrestle with God and not having the answers. I think a strong mom who loves Jesus has to sometimes look at their child and say, I don't know, but I know if you pursue God, he will give you peace one way or another. And that can be hard to do because we want to answer all the questions. But there's times I remember when Eve looked at me once because she had a foster mom before she came to us, who we would look at and say, it's a pretty rough situation, an abusive situation. And I remember her looking at me one day and saying, mommy, will I ever love you like I loved her? [00:44:09] Speaker C: Wow. [00:44:10] Speaker A: Right. And my flesh wanted to be like, how could you say that? Blah, blah, blah. But I didn't. By God's grace, I looked at her and said, I don't know, honey. I don't know, but I love you, and it's okay if you never love me like you loved her. Wow. [00:44:28] Speaker C: That would be hard for me. I mean, I just imagine that to just realize that someone who maybe even didn't treat my child the right way had an affection, you know, my child had such an affection for. [00:44:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:44:47] Speaker C: I mean, that's wonderful how you were able to respond. [00:44:50] Speaker A: Well, that's the one time I got it right. Let me just sit here for another three hours and tell you all the times I got it wrong. But, yeah, because I'm her third mom, her biological mom, who she doesn't. We don't know anything about, and then her foster mom, and then mom number three is me. I'm third in line. However dysfunctional the other two things were, it doesn't matter. I'm still number three. And so I need to honor that in that space in her mind that that's her reality. And she was nine. And her nine years in China were wrought with difficulty. And. Was that the right word? Rot. Wr. Let me try that again. Is that right? Fraught. Let me just use a different word. Sorry. I'm making your editing super hard. Like a writer. Yeah. So her nine years in China before we adopted her were full of difficulty and hard things and just, like, things we didn't know anything about until after she's in her home, you know, and. [00:46:00] Speaker C: Now did she share Those things? [00:46:02] Speaker A: No, because, well, you know, it's interesting, you know, your normal is your normal, right? And so. And then there's cultural norms that were okay in China that aren't okay here. So there's those norms. And then also the trauma of having strangers come and get you in your country and take you on an airplane to another house. And like, you know, all not knowing the language. Like she doesn't remember even many, many days of. After even being here in the States with us because just all of that adjustment and everything, which was. And of course, you know, there's so much for her mind to process. But as things started to come out, I remember one time she. And I, I bent down and I came up quick and she went like this. And I was like, oh, oh, wow. And I remember looking at her, I said, eve, I will never hit you on your face. Like, I will never hit you like that. And she was like. But in her mind that was telling her, okay, wow. Well, see, she keeps this promise. First of all, she's looking to trust us. And also, so being hit like that isn't okay. Like that's what she's beginning to realize. And so little by little those pieces came out. And you know, she's 19 now, so she's actually. I remember people telling us early on, you got to get her into therapy as soon as possible. As soon as possible. And I just felt like the Lord was like, wait until she asks for it and until she could speak English, because that sure would be helpful. Poor therapist. Be like, so a couple. Maybe it was a year and a half ago now, two years ago, can't remember exactly, but she came to me once and she said, mom, I think I want to go to therapy. I think I'm becoming angry at God and I don't want to be okay. So we prayed and God provided this spirit filled Christian therapist who's fantastic. And Eve has been doing the hard work of trauma therapy and she's growing and she's. I remember. Cause she'll, you know that fight, flight or freeze thing? She'll freeze. That's kind of her. And she'll totally dissociate. When she's like, something happens, she'll just see her just kind of disappear like she's in front of you, but not really. And we can't ever bring her. It's hard to bring her out of it. We don't know how to bring her out of it because her brain is just processing something horrible. And the first time she came back from therapy, well, not the first time. One of the times she came back from therapy, she came in the room, she was like, mom, Mom. I was like, what? She said, I did that thing where I check out, and I, you know, I like, totally disconnected. She brought me back. I was like, wow. Yeah. She's like, yeah. She told me to do this, this, this. And I came back. I came out of it, and she was like, I guess she really knows what she's doing. I was like, yeah, I guess so. But also, she had hope. [00:49:09] Speaker C: Yes. [00:49:10] Speaker A: Because she suddenly didn't feel like she's broken beyond repair. She felt like, this doesn't have to be my life. I can actually move forward from this. And so that's been really incredible for her. And that's been also a lot of hard work on our part, too. Eve and I talk a lot about how it's difficult for us to connect with each other. And so just doing that hard work. And we actually went in, my husband and I, with Eve, to a session just kind of recently, just to talk through some hard things that Eve wanted to talk about with us but couldn't by herself. So the therapist help us, and in that session realized that every time I looked like I was upset, Eve thought it was her fault every time. [00:49:54] Speaker C: And my daughters tell me I have a judgmental stare. And I'm like, well, I'm sorry. You know, Like, I don't even. I can do something that just lets them know. And now at least it's kind of a joke. So I try to check it, you know? [00:50:09] Speaker A: Right. Yeah. Right. Thank you, children. [00:50:12] Speaker C: Or the judgmental tone or the judgmental stare. [00:50:14] Speaker A: Wait till they have kids of their own. And like, oh, I'm doing the judgmental stare. But with Eve, she's hyper vigilant about my happiness, and so she's constantly staring at me to see if my face, my countenance, is okay. And so I learned from that session that Eve. I can look at Eve and say, eve, I'm upset, has nothing to do with you. And Eve can ask me, are you upset about something I did? And I can say, no, no, actually, it's because. Something your brother did. Whatever. But that was just so helpful. So, yeah, there's difficulty. There's. Eve has also a limb difference, a visible limb difference. She doesn't have a radius bone in her left arm, and she doesn't have a thumb on that hand. And she had issues on her right hand, too. So she's had surgeries and different things. And now it's, like, better, but better. Meaning she's not better. She's great, always been great, but more able for her to use her hands more readily and easily. But in China, she was horrifically bullied for that. Visible differences like that. It was enough that she was a girl and an orphan and also had visible limb differences and she was in a public school, so her bullying history is through the roof. But she, you know, that's another thing she's had to process. And, you know, nobody here in the States have ever treated her poorly because of her arm. They don't even notice, you know, typically. And that was a big thing for her, like, oh, you know, so that's a value piece. But walking her through that has been another thing. [00:51:47] Speaker C: Well, you know, I think it's important to just point out to parents, to mothers, again, who might be listening, that sometimes your kids go through things and they. It's not that you're not a bad parent because your child doesn't process something properly. [00:52:03] Speaker A: Right. [00:52:03] Speaker C: And sometimes they might need extra help that, you know, you think, well, why? Like, what did I do wrong? But it's, it may be a mistake you made at some point, totally unintentionally, or it may just be something else that's going on in their lives that we can't see inside the mind of our child, but God can. And I think if there is a leading or especially if your child is asking for help, that's amazing that she said, I want to go to therapy. But if they need help, help them to get it. Because there really are, I don't know, roadblocks kind of in your growth that once you get past them, you can really mature personally or spiritually or whatever, that sometimes kids just need a little bit of extra attention and help in an area and that's okay. And it doesn't have to be publicly known or, or whatever. You know, sometimes kids wouldn't want that to be known. But I think now, I think it's pretty common, you know, for children to need some extra help sometimes. [00:53:15] Speaker A: Sure, sure. And, you know, I wish, I wish now that I'm almost an empty nester. Like ideally I'm. Now I know they come back, but legally an empty nester, I don't know. I wish moms understood how it is not all up to them. I feel like so many moms bear this weight of it's all up to me. I've got to figure all this out. And sometimes it shows up if, like they think their husband is completely incapable of doing anything, which is such a bad idea, such a Bad mindset. But it usually shows up in them just doing everything, like this frantic pace of life of trying to fix everything and make everything right. And. And they're not alone because they always have the Holy Spirit. Like those who are following Jesus have the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit is our perfect nurturer, comforter, always with us, you know, sitting beside us on our beds at night, whispering truth into our ears. You know, like this very nurturing presence and empowering presence. And I. Once I realized that, like, the Holy Spirit is actually helping me parent my children, it's kind of life changing. In fact, I have a pretty awesome story I'd love to tell you in relation to Eve. So that was a weird sound that came out of my. You're welcome for the weird sound. And I have to say I have stories about Jack and Lucy also that you know. But we're just. I think Eve's story is important for right now for lots of reasons. But, you know, these are. We're all adopted into God's kingdom. His children are adopted, and he's our father, those of us who are following Jesus. And it's a powerful, powerful thing, but one time. So this first months of Eve not knowing any English and us not knowing Chinese were, you know, just exhausting and confusing. We used like an app a lot to translate. And I. I mean, now we look back and we're like, wow, that was a weird time. And we had some interpreters that would help us communicate at times and stuff. But it was. That was a blessing because I had to depend on the Holy Spirit to help me know what she needed, because there's times that she'd be upset or whatever, and I would have no idea other than the obvious big change in her life. But like, you know, holy Spirit, Lord, what does she need? Is there something I can give her? And so maybe he'd put it on my heart to like, fry up some rice for her or something or take it for ice cream or whatever. But there's one time that was specifically amazing. And I don't always hear from God this clearly and this specifically. So just letting you know this, but Eve was upset. She's in her room, she's obviously upset about something, but she wasn't able to tell me or maybe didn't want to tell me what was going on. So I was out in the kitchen and I was like, I don't know what she needs. And this is what the Holy Spirit put on my heart. This specific thing. Ask her if she wants to change her middle Name. I was like, well, what have I got to do? That is specific. It's very specific. And I was like, well, okay, so let me tell you this. When you're naming a nine year old child you've never met, it's bizarre, especially from another country. And you're like, what is she going to care about? So we knew we wanted the name Eve. And then we know our last name was a no brainer, so she'd be Eve Mylan. But her middle name, we thought maybe she'll want her Chinese name to be her middle name, which was Xiaolou Kong Sha Lu Xia Lu was her name. So we named her Eve Xiaolou Mylon. So that was her middle name. So I went into her room and through translator or something, I don't know how I did it, I said, eve, do you want to change your middle name? And she was like, yes. And I was like, okay, this is wild. [00:57:21] Speaker C: Thank you Holy Spirit. [00:57:22] Speaker A: And I was like, yes, thank you Holy Spirit. I was like, okay. I said, well, why? She said, because whoever, I don't even know who gave me the name Sha Lu. So Eve was found outside of a police station when she was an infant and taken to the orphanage. So somebody there named her Konshalu. And she's like, I don't know who gave me that name. I don't know if they even liked me. I don't know if they picked it. She's like, I don't. It doesn't have any meaning to me. And that was bothering her. And I said, okay, well what do you want to change it to? And she was like, I don't know. I said, okay. I'm looking around her room and I see the word Promise above her doorway. Before we were matched with Eve, we kind of got like weirded out calling her that girl in China. Like we before, you know, praying for our daughter in China. We wanted to give her a name. So we named her Promise. That's what we said. Like we're praying for Promise. You know, before we ever met her, we debated naming her Promise but didn't know if Promise would be difficult for her to say with the Chinese accent, whatever. So we just named her Eve. But so people had given us things to say, Promise, and they're all over a room. She knew that, that we called her Promise before we adopted her. And I looked up above her door and I saw that thing that our friends had made, had made for her. And I said, how about Promise? And she was like, yeah. And so because it meant something to Her. And she was looking for identity and meaning and emotion connected with and purpose. And so it took us a while, but we finally got it done, actually, earlier. Well, last year I went to the courthouse and she had her name changed legally, Eve Promise Mylan. And it was so important to her. I remember a couple years ago, she was like, mom, when I graduate from high school, will they say my full name when I go across the stage to get my diploma? I said, well, generally, yes. She said, I want my name changed. Before that, it was so important to her that when she walks across the stage, they said, eve Promise Mylan. And so we did that. But, you know, had I not, like. Had I not just kind of leaned into what I felt like the Lord was doing and trusting that and had the courage to say, do you want to change your middle name? Like, what a weird thing to ask somebody. Then, you know, God would have worked it all out. He, you know, would have figured it out. But what a blessing for both of us, for a whole family. And the story is incredible. But the Holy Spirit is with us, helping us nurture our kids and to set us free and mothering of our children. And if we can just trust that and trust the Holy Spirit, that's paramount. And, you know, it's sometimes difficult for people to trust the Holy Spirit. There are a lot of reasons some people have been hurt by different parts of the body of Christ that maybe that have like, misrepresented who the Holy Spirit is. And, you know, I found actually, interestingly, women who have wounds from their own mother have a difficulty trusting the Holy Spirit as their nurturer, which is a whole different thing, which is very fascinating to me. And that's actually something I address in the book. Arrows make Terrible Crowns. Just the idea of healing our view of the Holy Spirit, actually healing my view of the Holy Spirit healed my view of motherhood and set me free in it instead of having me be so paralyzed. [01:00:36] Speaker C: Well, I'm really glad you mentioned your book because I ordered it a couple months ago and. [01:00:42] Speaker A: Well, thank you. Yes. [01:00:43] Speaker C: And I was like, I just want to check it out and see if I can just get to know you a little better before you came. But I tell you, I was surprised by the themes in your book that were not directly about motherhood, but yet are so that affect every woman you know in that role, even definitely your relationship with the Holy Spirit. How to. Just how to. How to parent with that power, but also even how. One of the most. One of the coolest things you said, I think in there. Was that any. No matter what parent, you know, how godly a person is, your sinful decisions or tendencies or struggles are going to negatively affect your children somehow. [01:01:34] Speaker A: Right. [01:01:34] Speaker C: And I was like, she said that out loud. You know, I think that is a fear that every, you know, if you're a Christian and you're a parent, you. You want to protect, you know, you want to do things so that your child has the best advantage, the best opportunities to know God. And you don't ever want to get in the way of that. But it's easy to forget that. [01:01:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:59] Speaker C: I mean, I'm still going to. I'm still going to. I still have to grow. I still have to be sanctified. And I think, you know, our kids, I know that we had a season where I learned that repenting to my children to say I'm sorry, I was wrong, that's actually a powerful tool because they do get to see, oh, you know, mom or dad, we're not perfect and we need forgiveness, just like they need forgiveness from God and each other. You know, But I loved how you talked about that and even how grief is just woven throughout all of our lives, but how that does have an effect on our parenting. And so, yes, I definitely encourage anyone who's. Who's listening to grab a copy of the book and how can we get it? How can. [01:02:48] Speaker A: The best. Your best shot is Amazon, you know, easy enough. [01:02:51] Speaker C: Yes. [01:02:52] Speaker A: Janetmyland.com is under construction right now, so just go to Amazon and, you know, you probably find that. [01:02:57] Speaker C: Yes. Awesome. [01:02:59] Speaker A: But yes, I, I think we have one perfect parent and one perfect parent alone. And that is our Abba father. That is our creator, God. And it is silly for us to think, to expect for ourselves that we're perfect and for our kids to expect that we're going to be perfect. And we do need to apologize when we're wrong, but we also need to not over apologize to the point where our kids are suddenly the parents and we're the kids. True. [01:03:24] Speaker C: We still have to have authority in our household. [01:03:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And you know, something else in the book that I think is really powerful in relation to the Holy Spirit, too, is the idea that we can be so scared of missing it with the Holy Spirit that we can become like what I call spiritually superstitious. Where I was at a point in my life, and this would be a whole different. This will be on our side podcast we do together sometimes. But the. Basically, I was just in a situation where I was. It was a cultivated mindset. That you ask the Holy Spirit for literally everything you do in your life, like whether you buy a Snickers bar or not, or what kind of gum to get or whatever. It was just that kind of this, whatever circle I was in kind of taught this. And I was so afraid of missing the Holy Spirit that I was paralyzed and to the point where I just couldn't even go turn at a four way stop sign. What if I went the wrong way and I missed something? And so part of my training out of that, my own personal training, was I would go to the store to buy gum. And instead of like, my tendency literally was to think, what gum does God want me to buy? Like, that's what I would think. [01:04:36] Speaker C: Sadly, I can relate to this. [01:04:37] Speaker A: Okay, yeah. So God can tell me what kind of gum to buy for sure. But Big Red is my favorite. But anyway. But I would close my eyes and just reach my hand out, grab a pack of gum and put it on the belt and buy whatever it was. Now sometimes it ended up being Juicy Fruit, which wasn't the best, but a free dent. But that's what I had to do to realize that this life in the Spirit is a life of freedom, not a life of paralysis. And I love there's a scripture in Acts and I should have it queued up in my brain, but I don't. But the disciples, part of the disciples are trying to get into a city and it says that the Holy Spirit would not allow them to. So they went to another city. [01:05:16] Speaker C: Yes. [01:05:16] Speaker A: I'm like, yeah, if it matters, he's gonna stop you. But I think most of the time he's like, hey, kind of do what you want and I'm gonna like breathe on things or I'll stop you if it's like something I want you to do. But just love me and love people wherever you go and don't be superstitious about it. [01:05:34] Speaker C: It's funny, my husband, another quote, he'll say, sometimes the decision is like the Lord's saying, do you want. You're praying, do I eat the red popsicle or the blue Popsicle? And he's saying, whichever one you want. [01:05:48] Speaker A: Right. [01:05:48] Speaker C: You know, it's very true. That's when you're in the mood for today, you know, it's very true. And sometimes some decisions really are that simple. He really wants us to be ourselves, filled with Jesus. [01:06:00] Speaker A: Right? [01:06:00] Speaker C: Not, not, I don't know, a robot. I don't know what you would call it, but. But yes, I definitely love that you delved into that because I had a similar experience in college in that early 20s age where I just. I wanted so badly to please God that I got sort of paralyzed in obedience, what I thought was obedience, but it was really just a confusion of what scripture was really saying. So I'm really thankful for, you know, learning and growing out of that. [01:06:34] Speaker A: Yeah, I know we're wrapping up, but I want to point out that one thing in the book that I really love. Is that weird to, like, love? [01:06:42] Speaker C: No, no. [01:06:43] Speaker A: It's like, what About Bob? Did you ever see what About Bob? And he's like, there's a great book. And it's like all his book. It's not quite like that, but there's. The book culminates in a long, lengthy prayer of praying through your view of the Holy Spirit and healing your view of the Holy Spirit. And I encourage people, when they get to that point, to have someone interceding for them while they're praying through that part of the book, because all these things, the book kind of uproots all these things. And then there's this prayer of pages of just replacing it with God's truth about the Spirit and healing that view of the Holy Spirit, which I do believe will help heal your view of motherhood. [01:07:19] Speaker C: Wow. [01:07:20] Speaker A: Spiritual motherhood and physical motherhood, too. [01:07:23] Speaker C: Yes. Well, Janet, thank you so, so much for being here again. I have had a blast just chatting with you, and I know that your impact on the kingdom is just gonna continue. And, oh, I do wanna say that you also have a podcast that you've started recently. Can you tell us the name of it and just a little bit about it? [01:07:47] Speaker A: Well, the podcast isn't too recent, but the new name of it is recent, so it's called Everyday Serpent Crusher. So I love the idea of crushing the enemy's head, which is, you know, violent. I get that. But also. Let's do it. So I'm thinking out of Genesis 3 when it talks about how, you know, the woman's seed will crush the serpent's head. I'm thinking of JL Driving that tent peg through the enemy's head. I'm thinking about Psalm 91, like, all the things about just crushing the enemy. But Everyday Serpent Crusher is to help women know and men know that you can destroy the works of the enemy no matter who you are or where you are. It's not just people who sit in front of microphones, but anybody, a follower of Jesus can destroy the works of the enemy by just, you know, living their life in him. Studying the word of God, praying, being a community. It's for all of us, not just for some of us. [01:08:35] Speaker C: Awesome. Well, everybody check that out. And thank you so much for being here. [01:08:39] Speaker A: Thank you.