Episode 24

May 20, 2025

01:00:12

CODE RED - Dean Sikes

Hosted by

Zach Terry

Show Notes

SUICIDE. ABUSE. SHAME. ADDICTION. What if one voice could break through all of it? On this fiery episode of Code Red Talk with Zach Terry, we sit down with Dean Sikes—evangelist, school assembly speaker, and founder of www.youmatter.us —who has reached over 4,200 stages and spoken into the lives of millions of students across America’s public schools, detention centers, and even death row. Hear how God used one broken life to spark a national movement of HOPE. From sexual abuse at 15 to nearly entering politics... to encountering Jesus in a hospital hallway From lying his way through life to becoming a truth-teller in school assemblies nationwide. From silence to a prophetic voice calling a generation back from the edge of suicide. Dean gets real about trauma, therapy, forgiveness, fake Christianity, and how social media is discipling your kids more than the church. This is an urgent call for parents, pastors, and culture warriors.

WATCH if you want to understand the battle our teens are facing. STAY if you believe no one is too far gone. SHARE if you're ready to bring the hope of Jesus to the frontlines. This is Code Red.

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:09] Speaker A: Fast forward, get her to a hospital. A doctor threw me against the wall, rushed her to the emergency room. 45 minutes later, this ER doc walks over to my dad with the most bewildered look I've ever seen on someone's face. And he said, there's no medical reason to tell you this. It's a quote, miracle of God. She's fine. She's alive. You can go see her. I heard miracle of God. I looked straight up and went, you've got to be kidding me. You're real. [00:00:29] Speaker B: Wow. Welcome back to Code Red. I'm Zach Terry, your host on Code Red. We want to take you to the very tip of the spear, where culture and kingdom change is taking place. On today's episode, Doug Sykes, the founder of you Matter, an evangelist and a conference speaker, is going to be telling us exactly what he's observed in the darkest of places. From detention centers to high schools across our nation, Doug is bringing a message of hope and change to thousands upon thousands of young people through Jesus Christ. So, without further ado, here's Code Red. So, Dean Sykes, welcome to the Code Red studio. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Man, I'm so glad to be here. Thanks for the invitation. [00:01:27] Speaker B: We've had mutual friends, and the Carters especially, but people that we've known who've kind of been in both of our corners right. From time to time. But this is the first time you and I have met. [00:01:39] Speaker A: It is. And it's an honor to be here. [00:01:41] Speaker B: Well, I'm honored to have you. Looking forward to hearing your story. I know a little bit about your background, but I want to. Want to hear firsthand. [00:01:47] Speaker A: Right. [00:01:48] Speaker B: You and I were in similar lines of ministry. I did evangelism for nine years. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Okay. We're. [00:01:55] Speaker B: Do you consider yourself an evangelist, or what do you feel like your calling in life is. [00:01:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm a messenger of hope. [00:02:00] Speaker B: Okay. [00:02:00] Speaker A: That's what I do. When I began our ministry on January 1, 1993, I did so with an assignment. Reach teenagers and always be a messenger who delivers a message of hope. And so, since January 1st of 1993, I've spoken in over 4,200 events. We've had. On the evangelistic side, we've had over 300,000 young people give their hearts to the Lord. [00:02:22] Speaker B: Amen. [00:02:22] Speaker A: Through what we get to do every day. [00:02:23] Speaker B: And you get to go into public. [00:02:25] Speaker A: Schools, public schools, private schools, Christian schools, alternative. But probably 65% of our school outreach is in public schools. [00:02:31] Speaker B: So my. That began for me in 94, came to Christ, was called the ministry that same year. So I would go in that day. It was beginning to get a little bit iffy as to what we could say and do. [00:02:45] Speaker A: Right. [00:02:46] Speaker B: And I didn't know how to do. I didn't have a, a speech. I could give a motivational speech. I wasn't good at it. If I could have kind of no restrictions and go in and preach the gospel, that's what I did. But that closed a lot of doors for me. What kind of opportunities are there today? I would assume that's changed even more. And how do you get into these public schools? [00:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah, it has changed through the last. I've been doing this 33 years. And in those 33 years, I've seen a lot of change. But what hasn't changed is my story. And because I've spoken at schools, I've had school shootings. And our ministry, we never charge anyone anything. So if you're a high school principal today and you've got a guy that's spoken at 4200 events, National Platform because of school shootings and we're not going to charge you, we have a lot of opportunities to go. But what I do is I just, I come in and I'm very upfront with students. I'm not here to talk you into anything because if I could talk you into it, somebody a lot better than me could talk you out of it. And so I share my story and maybe we could just talk a little bit about the story itself, if you want to. [00:03:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I'd love to hear that. [00:03:54] Speaker A: Yeah. So when I was, I grew up in a Christian home. Seven I became a Christian. It was 6404 Julia Lane, Chattanooga, Tennessee. I know right where I was. An associate pastor from Ridgedale Baptist Church named Ray Cleet walked into our home. I kneeled down, prayed a simple prayer. I knew something had changed in my life at seven, Went outside to my best friend, Chris Frank. He and I were throwing the football and I said, chris, are you a Christian? He said, am I what? And it embarrassed me and I shut down. I thought, oh, don't worry about it, let's just throw the ball. And I didn't ask anybody that question again for a long time. My life had a couple of defining moments. That was really one of the first. When I was 15, I went to a friend of mine's home, Christian, so called Christian friend. And I was sexually abused. And 60 seconds changed the trajectory of my life. And I made a decision because that was on a Wednesday. And we always went to church on Wednesday nights, had dinner at church on Wednesday nights. And when I got home, finally that night, I went into my room, I looked in the mirror, and I saw shame. I saw someone who was broken. And I made a vow, which I don't necessarily encourage people to do. But the vow was, I'll never ever tell anyone what happened to me. I'll bury it. Because if I bury it, it'll go away. [00:05:05] Speaker B: How old were you? [00:05:06] Speaker A: Fifteen. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Fifteen, wow. [00:05:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:08] Speaker B: Such a pivotal age. [00:05:10] Speaker A: It was a direct assault of the enemy because of where the. The calling was going to take us. And 17, I failed PE. Easiest class anyone on the planet will ever take. I failed because I wasn't going to change clothes in front of anyone. Even though I played quarterback, taught tennis and played golf, I was plenty athletic. Just wasn't going to make that choice. And I learned that our choices create our circumstances. So I made a bad choice. My result was I failed to grade the class there. 17, 18, 19 years old. My world was spinning out of control. My drug of choice was lying. I lied more than I ever told. In fact, you had to catch me telling the truth. And I lied because I didn't like me. And so if I didn't like me, the second greatest commandment in the word says, love your neighbor as yourself. Well, if I don't love me, I can't love you. I can't give what I don't have. I can't teach what I've not been taught. And so I just started living in this fantasy world, made up everything, and the people around me just bought it, hook, line and sinker. [00:06:11] Speaker B: What kind of family were you a part of, Dink? [00:06:13] Speaker A: Yeah, very strong, middle class Christian family. Very type a entrepreneurial family. [00:06:21] Speaker B: That's the reason I asked, because I know that you've been that way. You've been entrepreneurial and tackled a lot of big things. I wondered if you were raised in that context. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Yeah, we were, my sister and I. My dad was always in real estate development, construction. He was always like a number two, like an executive vice president. [00:06:37] Speaker B: Commercial or commercial? [00:06:38] Speaker A: Yeah, commercial. Built shopping centers. [00:06:40] Speaker B: Okay. [00:06:40] Speaker A: In Chattanooga, up the eastern seaboard. Based out of Chattanooga. And my mom was very entrepreneurial. Had art galleries, was in real estate herself, had a gift shop. I mean, she was always spinning off into something new. So my grandfather retired at 39 and died at 97. So very much entrepreneurial family, for sure. And there were high expectations, you know. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Well, and I would think sexual abuse is not a respecter of persons. [00:07:09] Speaker A: Right. [00:07:10] Speaker B: It doesn't matter if you're in white collar, blue collar, no collar, whatever it is. [00:07:14] Speaker A: And I see that every day. When I tell what I'm sharing with you and this audience, when I share this in schools, this is what I talk about every day. When I do it, students go up to me, go, you're telling my story. And it's the same look, just different faces everywhere we go. So when I hit about 19 or 20, I had a plan and I was going to go. I was going into politics. I was going to run for the Tennessee state legislature at 21, run for the U.S. congress at 25, U.S. senate at 30, governor of Tennessee at 36. That was my plan. We had some polling data that said we should pursue this. We had people behind us, we had some money behind us. And at 21, I was in real estate development trying to getting all of this set in place. And I was miserable. We had two airplanes, we had a condo here in Florida. I mean, I was dating great looking older girls. I mean I had whatever, whatever society says makes you successful. I had a little bit of it. Well, the word teaches us that if you gain the whole world, but you lose your soul, you're in trouble. I was the poster child for that. And arrogance coupled with stupidity, that's dangerous. And so one day I had been on a trip checking a shopping center, got off the airplane, was miserable, and I just said, God, if you're real, and I don't think you are, but if you are, prove it. And there was no faith attached to my prayer at all. I just said it and kept going. Two weeks later, I'm sitting in my office and I don't try to over spiritualize this, it's just what happened. I'm sitting in this office dialing a phone. And off behind me to my left, I heard someone say, call Mom. I swung around, saw no one, but the hair on the back of my neck knew I need to call my mom. I dialed 344-7443. The phone rang six, seven times. On the eighth ring, my mother said hello. And when she said hello, I knew instantly something was really wrong. Her voice was slurred, she was disoriented. And I was about to learn in that moment in time when God, who's very real, spoke to me and said, call Mom. My mother was attempting suicide. I ran out of my office, jumped in my car, drove up Interstate 75. And for the first time in a long time, I genuinely prayed. And it wasn't a prayer that would have won any theological award. It was for the first time I was being honest. And I said, I need help. More importantly, my mom needs help. I can't save her, but you can. Would you help her? And I drove over to my parents neighborhood. And from the outside in, their home looked fine. It was safe, secure, probably like where you and I live. But from the inside out, my mom was dying. You know, I see millions of students, and from the outside in, they appear to have it all together. From the inside out, they're in their own private wars. I beat on the door, she came down some stairs. I picked my mom up, carried her to her car, drove her to a hospital. On the way to the hospital, she said, dean, I can't be dying. And I said, mom, you're not going to die, but you're going to have to choose to live. And the most important word to me is not live. It is choose. Because the Word teaches us, choose you this day who you're going to serve. Fast forward, get her to a hospital. A doctor threw me against the wall, rushed her to the emergency room. 45 minutes later, this ER doc walks over to my dad with the most bewildered look I've ever seen on someone's face. And he said, there's no medical reason to tell you this. It's a miracle of God. She's fine, she's alive. You can go see her. I heard, miracle of God. I looked straight up and went, you've got to be kidding me. You're real. The next day she was released from the hospital. And the day that we were told she was okay, I went on a walk. And I leaned against this long corridor in Park Ridge Hospital. And all I can tell you is I had an encounter with Jesus. It was not religion, it was a dose of relationship. From the top of my head to the soles of my feet. His presence was there. And he spoke to my heart. Not audibly this time it was just he and I, heart to heart. And he said, I've called you. It's not politics, it's ministry. And that began the journey. [00:11:03] Speaker B: And prior to that, you had never wrestled with a call? [00:11:05] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, I ran from it. I mean, it was something that I had been told early, early on there was a, you may know him, he's in heaven. A guy named Joe Parks. He was a musician, wrote a lot of lot of music. He was at the top tier of the music world. And he said to me one day, he said, dean, stay close to God. I just have a feeling he's going to use you. And I was 9 years old and I had no idea what that meant. But I respected Joe Parks. And when he said that, I was like, yes, sir. And I kind of tucked it away and didn't really think about it for a long time until this. Because when you're called, it's undeniable. When the calling is there and that door is knocking, whether you respond to it or open it, that's between you and God. But the chase is on, right? [00:11:53] Speaker B: So after that encounter in the hospital, what was next? [00:11:58] Speaker A: Well, I went to work for a guy I left real estate development. The gentleman I was working for has a son who plays the trumpet. And I'd always get to my office. If the owner of the company's gonna get there at 6, I was gonna be there at 6. If he left at 8, I was leaving at night because I was single, you know, just wanting to make money, wanting to build something. He left a note on my desk one morning in my office, and it said, come see me. It was six o' clock in the morning, so I went to his office. I said, yes, sir. He goes, I want you to do something for me. I said, name it. He said, my son has a demo tape I want you to get of him playing the trumpet. I want you to get that tape to Phil Driscoll. I said, consider it done. I walked out of his office with two questions. Who's Phil Driscoll and where does he live? Little did I know Phil was a Grammy award winning Christian artist who had a ministry. And he was 30 minutes from where I was standing. I called his office, made an appointment, didn't get to see him that day, but saw some guys who became some of my best friends for life. Shortly thereafter, we flew to New York, this family I was working with because Phil was doing an album in New York. And I sat in that church listening to him play and sing. I never heard anything like it. Didn't know you could worship like that. And I kind of meandered my way after the concert was over down to where he was in a private office. He looked at me like, who are you and how did you get in here? And I said, I don't know how to tell you this, but I think God's called me to work for you. He looked at me and said, let's talk. Shortly thereafter, he hired me. I was his road manager. We did 600 events together all over the world. [00:13:36] Speaker B: How did you discern that? Did you just worship? [00:13:40] Speaker A: During the worship, I. I was so hungry for God. God was chasing me. Now the chase was on because I want. I didn't Nothing was going to fulfill me. The money didn't. The girls didn't. The jet airplane didn't, the condo in Florida. None of that mattered to me anymore. What mattered was that God had asked me to do something and I didn't. Why me? I mean, I never crossed my mind. But in that night, I saw how music could be used to influence the heart and draw you into a place where the word can drop in and you can receive it. [00:14:17] Speaker B: Did you have a music background? [00:14:19] Speaker A: No. No, I did not. But there was this musical thing on the inside of me that I just. I recognized the anointing on feel. I recognized God's presence was there. And when I began to work with him, I mean, I would see all these people when he would play I exalt thee and give an altar call. And I would see thousands of people come forward through the years. I mean, tens of thousands. I was like, I want to be part of this. And, you know, honestly, I never thought I would leave him. In May of 92, I mean, I was his personal manager, road manager. I mean, I was traveling with him. I was living the life I wanted to live. And 30 days later, all of that went away in my heart. [00:15:03] Speaker B: Tell me, tell me, during that time. So how long. How long did you work with? [00:15:06] Speaker A: Three and a half years. [00:15:07] Speaker B: Three and a half years. Okay. And this may be pulling the curtain back a little more. You want to pull it back right now. So if it is, we can cut it. My background was in music. [00:15:18] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:19] Speaker B: So I was going into Nashville. Country. Country roads, you know, went to school, commercial music. Most of. Most of the people I graduated with went to Nashville and ended up working in Christian music. People don't realize this, but that can be disillusioning as well. [00:15:37] Speaker A: Very much so. [00:15:39] Speaker B: You kind of discover it's not the condos, the girls, the airplanes. You get into this Christian world. Did you encounter any of that? [00:15:47] Speaker A: No, not like that. But I saw a lot of people who put ministers on pedestals, and that's dangerous. That's very dangerous. They're going to. I will disappoint you. [00:16:01] Speaker B: What is it the saying that the one that you idolize, you also demonized. [00:16:05] Speaker A: That's right. So true. So true. And I saw people try to put Phil and other ministers that I was in contact with on these platforms like they were here and everybody else was here. And Jesus is the great equalizer. Right? And so it's. For me, it was. I learned about the power of accountability. I learned about safety. I learned how to do the road. [00:16:27] Speaker B: Like talk to me about that. [00:16:29] Speaker A: Well, it's like even in our ministry, I, I don't go anywhere by myself. Right. I mean, there's a young man sitting right over there off camera who's my road manager and he's here for no other reason, just, I always have accountability. I think it's important I don't get on an elevator by myself if there's a lady in there. [00:16:49] Speaker B: Did you see things that kind of sobered you up in that way? [00:16:52] Speaker A: I saw people trying to get close to ministers, you know, and I, and I there. There are times in early on in ministry where I would be doing national television and a well known minister would walk in and would blow right past me, not even say hi or anything. And quick, quick, quick story. I was doing something on a major network and I was sitting in the green room. And by the way, I never know why they call them green rooms. They're never green. And this minister walks in, he's got two assistants. One's holding his coffee, one's holding his jacket and just blows right past, doesn't say a word. I'm just sitting there. And it's a live broadcast. So they align us. [00:17:30] Speaker B: The weird thing about that is secular artists and secular personalities aren't even that way. No, that's the weird thing about it. [00:17:38] Speaker A: It is, it's like in my view, there's not an arrival point here. Yeah, we haven't arrived because this is about serving. [00:17:47] Speaker B: I've never understood why our culture and our crowd can be so haughty in those kind of deals to where it's like, yeah, just not even speak. Act like you're not human and you interact with people that are celebrities in the world and they're pretty normal. Usually they're kind of freaked out if you treat them weird or whatever. I mean, occasionally there's a prima donna, but. So yeah, I would hear those things from Southern gospel circles of people who were just odd. [00:18:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Just yesterday I got a text from a Hollywood star I was used to minister to he and his. I didn't know who they were when I ministered to them and I haven't talked to them in probably four years. And they text me, said, you know, we've just had you on our heart. Well, they're Christians. So we ended up talking. We talked for an hour and 16 minutes about very deep things. I thought, here's, here's a guy that anybody would probably recognize. He's on major movies, major television series and we're spending an hour, almost an hour and A half talking about Jesus and what God wants to do between the two of us in our ministry and their work. And I'm thinking, you know, and there's no, like. I mean, he was very gracious, he was very humble, he was very relatable. But then there are others, like the situation I'm describing. The funny part about that story is after that person walked past me, didn't say anything, we all are getting ready to do live television. It's one on one interview. So it's. He would have gone first, I'd have probably been last. Well, they just flipped it. The host walked in and said, you know, he said, dean, come. You go first tonight. Sure. So I go on first. So when I got finished, one of this gentleman's assistants walks over and says, so and so would really like to meet you. And I said, I really appreciate it, but I gotta go. Because if you can't say hi to somebody when you walk in and you don't know them. Yeah, yeah. I don't play those games. Yeah, it's not right. [00:19:48] Speaker B: So well, it's been interesting to me. But I think you're right that there are designs and schemes that the enemy has against some people who are in the Christian world that are probably more, I don't know, clever in some ways. He saves his best targets, maybe for some of those people. And it does. It makes them a little weird, makes him a little odd. So, you know, But I would hear that. I would. We were University of North Alabama, everybody was moving to Nashville. And you would hear people who graduated a year or two ahead of us and they would, they would start talking about, yeah, I'm on. I'm on the road with the Southern gospel group. And it's weird, man. It's really weird. And we would hear things. We knew Leonard Skynyrd's weirdness. I mean, you know, everybody's got their own brand, right? [00:20:37] Speaker A: Yep. [00:20:38] Speaker B: But you would hear all of these secular artists and their, their stuff is drugs or whatever. And then you would hear from the Southern gol. Gospel groups. Just as odd. But it would, it would be a different type of weirdness. [00:20:50] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, it's real. [00:20:51] Speaker B: And so. But you. But. But when you got into that world, you weren't disenfranchised with that. That didn't. [00:20:57] Speaker A: No, because I think I was used to a certain way of living life, a certain way of travel, a certain way of, you know, hotels. It's just. I just looked at it and thought I was. I was just in a place where I get to work for God. I get to do this. And nothing else really mattered to me. [00:21:17] Speaker B: I think something about student ministry too kind of keeps it more real because they can smell, they see fatal Mom. [00:21:25] Speaker A: What I tell students when I walk in is I'm not here to talk you into this. And I'm not going to talk to you as kids. I'm going to talk with you as young people who have the capacity to make choices. And I've never tried to dress. This is me. I wear button down and a pair of khakis. They respect that because I'm not trying to conform to who they are or their image. And I never read a speech. I get a microphone, I walk and talk, and I just engage. And what happens is by the time we're finished with that assembly or that chapel service, God somehow has taken stories from the road or my personal testimony, and he's deposited it into the lives and hearts of these students. And when we finish here, they come in mass, they just want to talk. And here's. Here's what I tell parents. It's not that your young person, it's not that teenagers necessarily want to talk. It's that they desperately, desperately need to be heard. Because if you don't feel heard and you don't feel seen, then there's no way that you can embrace this message that I share called you matter. [00:22:30] Speaker B: So how many schools? [00:22:33] Speaker A: Well, I've done 4,237 events, and so. [00:22:37] Speaker B: Some of those are going to be really tough. I'm assuming back in the day I would go into some and it was almost like a game to see how quickly we could get this guy to walk off stage. And those typically turned out to be some of our best events. [00:22:50] Speaker A: Sure. [00:22:50] Speaker B: The hardest crowds often had the best fruit. Have you found that true? [00:22:55] Speaker A: There's no question. I've gone to schools that when they introduce me and I'm not. Big introductions. Here's a guy that speaks his name is dean. Give him your attention. And when the principal couldn't get control of the students. You know, I've been in schools. I mean, one in particular, I'm remembering right now where the police had to literally come in because the student was so out of control. And what happens is, if you give into that, what do you do? [00:23:24] Speaker B: How do you. So if a kid's out there and he's wanting to get the attention of the group. [00:23:28] Speaker A: Well, I was in a school in Pennsylvania and I started and some young man screamed in obscenity and I just stopped the assembly. I looked in that direction. I said, you can get up and leave now. We don't need your voice right now. Because what you're saying is you're just disruptive. And I didn't say it to be mean, but what happened, the entire student body just shouted and started clapping because they wanted to hear. Right. And he stayed the entire assembly. Right. I had a young man do something not quite as aggressive, but he came up to me afterwards and he said, I apologize. He said, I was trying to get a laugh, a cheap laugh. I said, no sweat, man, we're good. [00:24:04] Speaker B: I told my wife when we first started, I had been. See, I was called the ministry in 94. She and I got married in 2000. She went on the road with me for the first, until we had like a four year old and the hotels were getting so small. But for the first good while she went into these school assemblies with me, went on youth camps, all that stuff. And I told her early on, I said, you watch especially certain schools we would go into, if they were rougher schools, they had a reputation. We would go into those schools. I said, somebody will challenge me early on. And I said, almost without. I said, I can't remember an exception. That kid will get saved at the end of the, at the end of the talk, just watch it. And it was, it was, it was eerily predictable, right, that the kid who would challenge you the most was the most desperately in need of Christ. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:56] Speaker B: And we, we had the opportunity. It was usually sponsored. We would go, we would go to the church first that was yours seems to be a little different. School first, maybe, but we would go into the church first. We would have an event set up and then we would go to the schools, find opportunities to share. [00:25:16] Speaker A: Right. [00:25:17] Speaker B: And the only thing we would ask them to change, it would be a voluntary assembly like, sponsored by FCA or some Christian organization. We would ask them to do it during the normal schedule. So this is not during study hall or something like that. This is like second period. [00:25:33] Speaker A: Yep. [00:25:34] Speaker B: And open it up to everybody in the school. No charge, you know, and no restrictions on what we could say. So back in that day, up until, I don't know, 02 to 04, we could go in, share my testimony, gospel presentation, give the invitation. I'd have people from the churches ready and it was an amazing thing to see. And people wouldn't believe that you could do that in a school. Other people, I had other friends that did the same thing and they would go into bigger schools and more schools and they would wisely Kind of rein in the message a little bit and encourage the kids to come to the church that night, kind of. What's your approach to it? [00:26:17] Speaker A: We're called. To really reach students in the schools. So we have what we call evenings of hope. And we do that about six times a year. We'll go in. There's a particular city we're going into, and we'll do X number of schools, 15, 16, 17 schools in three or four days leading up to an event, either in a church or a neutral venue somewhere. And so we don't do those often. Like I said, probably six times a year. I really feel like for us, it's really. The school is the mission field. [00:26:46] Speaker B: That's where it happens. [00:26:46] Speaker A: That's for us. Yeah. And now I minister a lot in churches to adults on Sundays, of course. [00:26:51] Speaker B: But do you get the opportunity to. Will they let you share John 3:16? [00:26:56] Speaker A: It's being as wise as a serpent, gentle as a dove mentality. They will not let me open my Bible and read scripture and verse and go, you know. But I can always share my testimony. Kind of like, call Mom. [00:27:07] Speaker B: This is what happened. [00:27:08] Speaker A: Yeah. This is my life. I was sexually abused. Lied. You know, fake plastic person. Had plenty of whatever society says makes you successful. Had an encounter with a real God. Call Mom. I did. Then I kind of bring it home because I share stories from the road. So we hit three major topics in every assembly. Is there someone you need to forgive? Because 22 years after I had been sexually abused, married with three kids, I walked down aisle 21 at Home Depot, turn right. And I walk right into the person who had abused me and my life unraveled. Here's what I tell people. If you and I do not deal with our emotions, our emotions will deal with us. Wow. And I didn't understand that until it happened to me. And I had buried it for so long, thinking it was just gone. If I put a trash can right here, we keep putting trash in and keep pushing it down and pushing it down, eventually it's going to overflow. Our heart is the same way. We keep pushing those emotions down, not dealing with them. They will overflow one day. What happened, it's a brutal thing. It. It literally caused my. I never told anyone what happened. And on that day at that Home Depot, I had two of my kids with me, and I squeezed their hands so tightly, just reactively. [00:28:14] Speaker B: Did you. How often did you think about what happened? [00:28:17] Speaker A: I buried it. I didn't think about it much at all, but I could not. You remembered it, though, I remembered it. And I couldn't ignore the fact that all these older girls always wanted to date me. I couldn't figure out why. And I thought, well, who cares? I'm having fun because sin's fun until the cycles of death catch up with us. Later on in life, I began to understand that unhealthy attracts unhealthy. Healthy attracts healthy. Well, I was broken. So what does brokenness do? It attracts brokenness. So I was attracting broken people into my life who were unhealthy. And so when I ran into this person 22 years later, I left Home Depot, went home. My wife looked at me. She says, what is wrong? I said, not right now. Put our kids to bed. I said, let's go outside. We stood outside, out of our little front porch, in that little front porch, that house we lived in then. I said, I've never had the guts to tell anybody what I'm getting ready to tell you. But 22 years ago, I was sexually abused. And today I ran into the person I'll never forget her eyes filled with tears. She took two steps back. She said, everything makes sense now. [00:29:18] Speaker B: Wow. [00:29:18] Speaker A: We've got to get you help. And pride jumped. I said, no, no, no. I'm fine. She says, you're not. I said, I know the word. I've got a relationship with you. God, the Holy Spirit talks. I'm fine. Jesus, Dean, you're not. If you got diagnosed with a serious illness, would you go to the doctor? Well, sure I would. No difference. You're going. And I made an appointment with a counselor, and this massive big door opened up into their offices. [00:29:44] Speaker B: How did you find your counselor? [00:29:47] Speaker A: I actually knew someone who knew someone. [00:29:49] Speaker B: I was about to say, that's hard for preachers. [00:29:50] Speaker A: Oh, it's horrible, you know, because when I went to that door, I put my hand on the door to open it. On this side of me, I heard the devil. You're going to be recognized. You're on television. The minute you walk in there, somebody's going to see you. They're going to know you. What are you going to say? On this side, I heard the Lord, he whom the sun sets free, is free indeed, Opened the door, said, hi, I'm Dean Sykes. I'm here for my appointment. And they gave me a stack of papers to fill out, and I went over in the corner by myself and filled them out. And then I hear these footsteps coming down the hall. I hear someone announce, dean Sykes, thanks. And sure enough, three appointments in. My best friend from high school walked in who was a pharmaceutical rep. He goes, sykes, what are you doing here? I think I'm in counseling. What do you think I'm doing here? He said, oh, I'm sorry. I said, we'll be sorry. I'm just getting some help. And that I went through about. I went through three counselors until I got to the counselor and. And Lori and I were having some issues in our marriage, and we went to this Christian counselor. And I'll never forget, after about five minutes, he looked at my wife and he said, would you excuse us? I need to talk to your husband for a minute. I thought, praise God, he has seen the problem. Let's talk about her. He looked at me after she walked out and he said, she's going to be just fine. You and I need to work together. I said, what are you talking about? I said, doc, she's crazy. Get her back. What do you mean I'm me? He said. I said, how do you even know that? He goes, oh, it's simple. I said, I'm listening. He said, dana, I asked your wife one question. What does she need to work on? And all she gave me was a litany of things about herself she was working on or needed. I asked you that same question, and all you gave me was everything wrong with your wife. Then there was this 90 second stare off because he didn't need me. I needed him. He said, I can help you. He said, here's the deal. I know who you are. I know about your ministry. I don't want to hear about it. I don't care about your airplane. I don't care about your television ministry. I care about you. So I can help you. But we're not going to talk about anything you do. We're going to talk about you. And no one ever talked to me like that. No one had ever said that to me. I said, okay. I said, what do we do? He said, well, let's get Lori back in here. We'll finish today. Then let's start a conversation. That conversation lasted 11 years. And somewhere along the way, part of why I talk about forgiveness so much, the Lord asked me this question. He said, will you forgive the person who sexually abused you? I said, no. It was immediate no. He said, why? I said, it's not fair. I didn't do anything. And by the way, where were you? Why did you let that happen to me? Why did bad things happen to good people? Because I didn't do anything wrong. And all I could hear was four words. Good God, bad devil. And it took Me some time. I said, well, you know, Lord, Ananias and Sapphiras lied to the spirit of God and they dropped dead. I'm not lying. I need some time. So I took some time and I prayed about it. I knew the answer. I said, do I have to go to the person? No. Bring it to the cross. So I did. And I would love to tell you that the day I forgave, angels were doing high fives in my bedroom. You know, people. It was glorious singing. And I heard nothing. I felt stupid. But I just kept saying, lord, I choose to forgive. I choose to forgive. And here's one of the greatest truths the Lord ever revealed to me. There was a day I woke up and when I truly had forgiven, I was free. I talk about it every day. [00:33:08] Speaker B: We tell people. We tell people that the way our forgiveness was. Was bought, was Jesus absorbed the pain. He stored up the forgiveness and that said in an account for a couple thousand years. [00:33:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Before we received it. And some people never receive it. [00:33:25] Speaker A: Right. [00:33:25] Speaker B: You know, there are some people that he. He paid the price for their redemption. They never receive it. So it's possible that a person who sinned against you or sinned against me never receives it. We never make peace. We never. They could be in heaven or in hell. [00:33:42] Speaker A: Right. [00:33:42] Speaker B: But. But that doesn't mean that we can't absorb the pain, provide the forgiveness, store up grace in our heart toward them the same way God did for us. [00:33:51] Speaker A: So good. [00:33:51] Speaker B: It's just a gospel picture. I think it's really important, and I deeply appreciate you talking about getting help, getting therapy. That's in some circles, maybe more than others. That's very difficult for people to talk about. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Because it's. My view on it is this. You're called. You're gifted by God to pastor to do this. I'm called gifted to go out and speak. There are people who are called gifted, highly educated, who can get to the core of the matter. Why would we not? I mean, there's a stigma. I get that. [00:34:32] Speaker B: I get it. And I'm with you. And some of the best, you know, help I've ever gotten have been from counselors. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Sure. [00:34:40] Speaker B: I found, and I think it's helpful, too, that you said the first one wasn't the one. [00:34:45] Speaker A: Right. [00:34:47] Speaker B: It takes sometimes, just as we would tell someone to visit a few Sunday school classes before they settle, it takes a few times to find the person who's equipped to deal with your issue. Sometimes it's a spiritual issue, sometimes it's a emotional mental issue. And finding the right person. We've got people in our church that are really equipped for the spiritual battles. Sometimes it's demonic, and you have to get somebody who's equipped to ask the right questions to bring that out. Other times, it's a way of thinking. It's a way of seeing yourself. It's unasked questions that just need to be dug up. And finding the person who's best equipped for that is really important. [00:35:35] Speaker A: Oh, it is. Because they. I believe that the doctor that I worked with for so long was chosen to work with me because God knew who I would listen to, who I would receive from. And that whole forgiveness thing I ask students in public schools. At the end, I'll ask them three questions. Is there someone in your life who's really hurt you? Mom, dad, grandparent, brother, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend, teacher, coach. And you know that you need to forgive them. You can see their. You can see their face with your eyes closed. If there's someone in your life that's really hurt you and you're willing to take a chance and forgive them, raise your hand 80% every day. Second question. Do you feel like you've been rejected? Because on the other side of rejection is a word called accepted. And the word says we're all accepted in the beloved. I was rejected. I was abandoned. My mom called me six months before she died and said, when you were four and a half years old, I emotionally abandoned you. She said, you and I don't have a relationship. You know what? I know it's. Stop acting like we do. Well, that was hard to hear. And I wasn't the perfect son. I gave her reasons to be distant from me. But at the end of her life, what was amazing is I was the only person that could make my mom laugh. She was very ill, and I would go see her where she was, and she would be in a wheelchair, and I would pop a wheelie. I'd run her down the halls, and people walkers and canes would just be like the Red Sea moving. I tell people, don't wait until it's too late to make it right. Humble yourself. Ask for forgiveness. You know, my mom and I ended on it. On it was okay, but. So there's the question of if you've been rejected. Are you looking for acceptance? Hands go up every time. Which leads me to my third question, which is suicide is built in threes. A person will think about it, talk about it. If not, stop. They'll attempt it. Every day in America, 5,600 teenagers attempt suicide pre Covid it was 5,240. Every day, every day in an arena that's 12,000 people. That arena would fill up every two and a half days with teenagers who in the previous 60 hours boss the lie. And every day that I ask that question, is suicide a real option for you? Hands go all over the place and it freaks administrators out because they have no idea. They have no idea that it's rampant because it's epidemic, because suicide is the antithesis of life. God created you on purpose, with purpose and for purpose. I tell students, let's say Johnny's sitting right here. Johnny, when God created you, he didn't go, oops, Jesus, look what I did, I just made a mistake. Now he created you with this amazing amount of purpose on the inside of you. My wife asked me a question long ago. She said, dean, if my hand is a mirror, do you see what God sees when you look in that mirror? That's what I ask students. Do you see what God sees? [00:38:17] Speaker B: You're, you have a unique role, unique perspective on young people. And I know in some ways, sin, nature doesn't change. Kids in this day are probably not altogether different than they were, you know, when we were young people. And I still think we're young people very much. You know what I mean? Yeah, but what are you seeing? What, what, where's the enemy winning? What are the things that we as parents need to be concerned about in this generation? [00:38:44] Speaker A: Sure. Number one thing is social media. The average teenager will spend between seven and nine hours every day on their device, tablet, phone, computer. [00:38:53] Speaker B: What are they looking for? [00:38:55] Speaker A: Acceptance. I tell students, if you're still counting your likes on social media, you have no idea how much you're loved. They're looking to fit in. They're looking for where do I fit in this journey? [00:39:08] Speaker B: So they're posting, looking for, they're looking. [00:39:10] Speaker A: For, they're looking for the response. If I post a picture, what kind of response am I going to get? They use these filters. I mean, there was, there was a place that I went to recently where there was a so called game posted on social. And the game was teaching you how to end your life. And kids were killing themselves and they called us and said, would you please come? And we rearranged our entire calendar to go to this specific place where three teenagers had died and two others had attempted, all because they were watching this game. So I say to parents, oftentimes when you're together as a family, put the phones away and they're like, well, we don't know what to say, well, you're a parent. Figure it out. I mean, they didn't have to be born. I knew that we needed to do that. When I was downstairs one evening in our family room and our son was upstairs in his bedroom and he and I were texting, I knew then, okay, we're making a change here. Lori, my wife, used to have, when our kids were young, we had a big farm table in our dining room. We would sit around every night and she would go, what's your high today? What was your low today? All in the effort to engage conversation. It's a lost art. You know, parents tell me what my. My son or daughter goes in the room and shuts the door and locks it. Well, it's your home. Unlock the door, go in there and get involved. Parents don't need to be their friends right now. You're. You're there for a reason. [00:40:34] Speaker B: We, we had some rules that. And I got a name, Michael Hyatt, I believe is where I got this from. And he used it in a business setting. But when he would have clients over or, you know, his associates over, they would say, one conversation at a time. And so we started doing that with our family. We had three kids, right? And so we would, we would have the same rule, no tech at the table in one conversation at a time. We tried to do dinner. Now, when everybody's home, we'll probably do it three nights a week at one time. It was pretty consistent, about five, right? But now we've got a 23, 21, and a 17. And so three nights a week, everybody at the table, mom makes a meal, we all help and sit down one conversation at a time. And we have to work. The one who's the least talkative is a 17 year old. She'll let the other two kind of dominate the conversation. So we have to work to keep her engaged, you know, and. But it's fascinating. Whatever's going on in one's life, there's usually an equivalent in the others. We can just kind of unpack it, bring scripture to bear. That's where we disciple our kids, you know, and it's been just a great. That's where parenting happens. [00:41:46] Speaker A: Yeah, I totally agree. Totally agree. [00:41:47] Speaker B: And so social media, I think at the same time, it's important to say when you've got, you know, kids that are buried in their phone looking for acceptance, that's a predator's dream. [00:42:01] Speaker A: Oh, and the Bible teaches us all things were created by God. And for God, God created social media. It was supposed to be the most connecting entity that exists. It's become the most divisive, the most isolating because I can. I literally can spot it a mile away. Go to. Put me in a high school assembly somewhere. I can point you to the people who live in their phone because they're not engaging. They're. They're. They're isolated. They're. They. They don't. They won't look at you eye to eye. You know, it's the. Someone told me the day they were talking about. About our son who just graduated from law school. And they said, you know, even growing up, your son Will would look me right in the eye. He would shake my hand firmly. He would have a conversation with me. He would be very engaging. And I'm grateful for that because somehow along the way, he learned that, you know, respect people that are older than you, engage, you know, speak when spoken to. And so in today's world, when I see all these young people and there's a lot of great young people out there, there's a lot of students who are doing amazing things for God. It's just they. They desperately need people in their lives cheering them on. They need somebody saying, you can do this. Because it's. When I graduated high school in 1984, the things I deal with on the road today were nowhere on the radar. Funny thing, the very first convention I ever spoke, there were 600 students there. And I asked the question, how many of you have cell phones? Three today. Out of a crowd of 600, maybe three don't have them. Right. You know, so that's where it's come from, where we are. [00:43:40] Speaker B: We go to the mission field and these people who have nothing have a phone. They've got a phone. [00:43:44] Speaker A: Yep, yep. [00:43:45] Speaker B: You know, they may not have the best phone, but they've got a phone. [00:43:49] Speaker A: I was in South Africa, and I was. I was just astonished. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:53] Speaker A: Because, I mean, I was out in middle of nowhere, South Africa, and they all had phones. They're taking pictures from there. I was like, where do you. [00:44:02] Speaker B: The world's changed. [00:44:02] Speaker A: It's always changed. [00:44:04] Speaker B: Anything else that you've just observed that you say this probably is not on a parent's radar, but needs to be. Social media, of course, is a big one. Anything else that's shifting in this generation? [00:44:15] Speaker A: I have a lot of students who are very honest with me. There's a friend of mine who was telling me about a youth pastor that they were having a meeting. Youth pastors. And they said, yeah, we did. We did a test. We had a big screen in our auditorium. He said, all of our kids came in on a Wednesday night and we had a cable. And we asked every student there to please bring us your telephone. We're going to put this cable to it and we're going to put on the big screen every place you've been on your phone in the last seven days. [00:44:43] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:44:43] Speaker A: One student handed them the phone. Only one. So the point is, you know, parents need to be engaged and involved in the lives of their. Of their kiddos. Because the biggest. One of the biggest issues I'm seeing is pornography. Students are really not just guys, girls too. The biggest issue I deal with on the road is suicide prevention. But what suicide is, the. Is what's the effect, what's the cause of suicide? Eating disorders are huge, you know, and eating disorders, bulimia and anorexia are not about food. They're about control. So I see a young lady who's really dealing with an eating disorder. My first question is, what happened? What happened in your life before now? And just recently, I was on a college campus and a young lady walked up to me, just boldly said, I have an eating disorder. I need some help. That takes a lot of guts. [00:45:38] Speaker B: But I was like, we have a ministry in our. In our county, in our church, a big supporter of it called bring your brokenness. And it's. It's a ministry to people with ladies with eating disorders. [00:45:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:50] Speaker B: And when they started that, I thought, I mean, honestly, where I come from, I just didn't know anybody who dealt with that. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Right. [00:45:57] Speaker B: They were there. [00:45:58] Speaker A: Right. [00:45:59] Speaker B: But we just didn't talk about it. Didn't know what to call it. Sure. [00:46:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:03] Speaker B: But the number of people they have to turn away because it's just not room. They can only effectively minister to so many at a time. It's really been eye opening because they bring them to our church every Sunday. And I've had to think about, you know what, Because I joke and cut up a lot and I don't have a really good filter, you know, when it comes to. I don't think about how this may. I'm learning, but how it may come across to you if I cut up about something. And so I would tell jokes about eating or whatever. And I've had to tone that down. [00:46:35] Speaker A: Right. [00:46:36] Speaker B: Because these girls are in there, you know, and I wouldn't do anything in the world to hurt them. [00:46:40] Speaker A: No. [00:46:40] Speaker B: You know, so I've tried to give. The director said, look, give me a heads up because I might slip up. [00:46:45] Speaker A: Right. [00:46:46] Speaker B: And you give me grace. But. But I'm going to try, you know, but it's. I think. I think people would be. If they're not church people, they would be pleasantly surprised to know. We don't think necessarily we know how to minister in all these areas, but we're not afraid of it. No, we want to see people to bring their brokenness, as that ministry would say, because we know that the Lord can. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Sure. And the thing that I often share with people is just because you stand behind a podium or you have a mic on, your cameras rolling, does not mean you're more special to God, does not mean you're more qualified. It just means this is what we're called to do. [00:47:26] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:27] Speaker A: I mean, this is why one of the biggest things that we hear, especially on Sundays, is people come to me and go, you're just so real. I'm like, yeah, because for so long I wasn't. And I don't ever want to be the person that is unapproachable that you feel like you couldn't come talk or share your story. I mean, you listen to me talk for 30 minutes, minutes. And I appreciate that. And I'm. There's a. There's a verse in Proverbs. I have to find it, but it says open communication permits progress if we can openly communicate. Openly share, as I share with students. God gave us two eyes, two ears and one mouth for a reason. I listen a whole lot more than I talk, and I talk a bunch. [00:48:03] Speaker B: Do you. [00:48:04] Speaker A: So you. [00:48:04] Speaker B: We know about your ministry in the schools. You also have ministry in the church. Talk to me about that. How do you minister to the church? [00:48:11] Speaker A: Some of my favorite times to minister are on Sunday mornings because you're not having to break down religious barriers. People there because they want to come to church. Right. And so I really. I share my story. There's a teaching gift that, you know, I don't dive down deep into the Greek at all. But I just. I looked at Jesus ministry and I thought, what made you successful? And I started studying it. I looked at it. Well, he only said what he heard his father say. He only did what he saw his father do. And everything he did, everything was motivated by love. And he was here as Jesus the Son of man, not Jesus the Son of God. He put deity aside, humbled himself, and came to the earth in the form of a man. So I thought, okay, there's my template. I'm going to pray, I'm going to listen, I'm going to watch and do. And I'm going to do My best to be motivated by love, because faith works by love. And it's amazing what happens on Sunday mornings. To me, I get so excited when I know churches are coming down, because I just love ministering to people. And then we do a lot in Teen Challenge centers. [00:49:19] Speaker B: Tell us about that. Because the Baptist world doesn't know about Teen Challenge. [00:49:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Teen Challenge is a ministry that was created to help initially teenagers get free from addiction. And now Teen Challenge, the name is kind of a misnomer, because Teen Challenge, now I would say probably all the Teen Challenges that I go to across the country, 90, 95% of them are adults. There's a ministry out there called Saving Grace. And for whatever reason, God lets us minister to a lot of people who are coming through addiction and who need freedom. And, you know, addiction looks different on everyone. You know, my addiction wasn't alcohol or drugs. My addiction was lying. You know, there's no less sin in my view, whether I'm lying or strung out on drugs. And so when we get to minister to people who are really struggling, I mean, really broken, to use your term, you know, it's one of those things that touches my heart because there are areas in my life that are still broken. There are areas that have been broken, that have been healed. So I know that if God will do that for me, he'll do that for anyone, because he's not a respecter of persons. So where do these. [00:50:26] Speaker B: So when you go into an event like that, do these kids come through? Do these adults come through the church? Or how did Teen Challenge get their people? [00:50:34] Speaker A: Some are there from church. A lot of them are court ordered. Some have been in jail. This is their way out of jail. [00:50:39] Speaker B: And that's another thing people don't realize is that the court systems, the government, has exhausted all that they can possibly do for a lot of people. And they partner with Christian movements for the purpose of helping. Helping these people. [00:50:56] Speaker A: Give you an example, there's an app that we're on called Pando P A N D O. Right. There are 750,000 tablets in prisons today, like iPads. Pando is on all of those apps, all of those tablets. Rather, we're on Pando. So by default, when you say we're. [00:51:14] Speaker B: On Pando, you mean your program? [00:51:15] Speaker A: Our ministry programs, our videos. So in that we've been on for 15 months, right. We've had over 200,000 views of our programs on the app. Right. In the last 22 months, we've had 125 million views. Our videos on social Media, Wow. So every school I go into, without fail, no matter where I am, students go and go. I watch you on TikTok, okay? So I know it's working. So we get letters every week from inmates, and they invite us to come. So I recently went to a prison. I've done a lot of prisons through the years, and I, for the first time, though, got to minister on death row because men had seen the program. We've had thousands get born again through the Pando app. It's the coolest thing. And we go, and all these men are out in the yard. It's a beautiful day. And the chaplain was like, man, they're supposed to be inside. I said, let's see what God does. I clear seven layers of security to get into these guys. Well, they're not coming inside. They're out there playing volleyball. So I meet him where they are. I don't ask them to change anything. I just start talking. And God just does what God does. Then we do a second service in this massive dorm. Hundreds of men are there. Well, I see God do again. So I'm in Texas doing one of these. I'm flying out there, and I'm just praying. What do you mean? Share your story. Give an invitation for salvation. 620 men are there. I share my story. I give invitation. 587 get born again. Wow. What is the point? God? Anybody who's watching, whatever your calling is, just listen. I tell teenagers the most important thing you and I will ever do is hear the voice of God. The second most important thing we'll ever do is obey what we just heard. It's simple. Just follow the leader. [00:52:58] Speaker B: And there's an amazing work. You know, if there's a revival happening in America, a good place to look is in the prisons. [00:53:05] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. [00:53:06] Speaker B: I mean, the openness that our prisons have right now to the gospel is unreal. [00:53:10] Speaker A: It is. [00:53:10] Speaker B: And great work is happening there. I found, as well, prison ministry a lot of times. The first time I walked into Limestone Correctional up in Alabama, minister there every Tuesday. The first time I walked in, I was so afraid of how they would receive me. I was more respected there than I was in some of the high schools. [00:53:34] Speaker A: No, I get it. [00:53:35] Speaker B: These guys were raised in homes where there might not have been a lot of rules, but they respect the preacher. [00:53:42] Speaker A: Yep. [00:53:42] Speaker B: They respected their mother. [00:53:44] Speaker A: That's exactly right. [00:53:45] Speaker B: And that was pretty much it. And so I would walk into these prisons, and if I had that clergy badge on, they would treat me with respect. And it was very Shocking. Shocking to me. Another thing I saw, which I'm glad to hear, you're doing the. Out there when. When we would go in, just for the sake of time. I did that to keep me honest. I felt like I needed to do some ministry that could not benefit me personally. So I would go into. Go into the prison for that reason, but for the sake of time, I would end up teaching my Sunday morning sermon because I didn't have time to write up something new. So I would go on. And we teach through books of the Bible. So if I was going through Luke, I would go into the prison, teach Luke 3, whatever it was. And the number of men who said, everyone assumes that if you're in prison, you're lost. And he said, there's a lot of lost people here. Don't get me wrong. But he said, a lot of us have come to faith, and we're just like any other Christian. [00:54:46] Speaker A: We need to be taught disciples. [00:54:48] Speaker B: And. And so he was very appreciative that we would go in and not just try to do a Billy Graham sermon every time, but we would. We would minister to him as we would any brother in Christ. You know, so there's a lot of opportunities. [00:55:02] Speaker A: Oh, there are, you know, for people. [00:55:03] Speaker B: That want to get involved. [00:55:04] Speaker A: Yeah. And there's. I tell people, hell is not full of bad people and heaven's not full of good people. Prisons aren't full of bad people. There are other bad people who may. Bad. Yeah, we've all done that. But there's also some great people I've met in prisons who just made bad choices. [00:55:19] Speaker B: Right. And a lot of them have sobered up about it. Sure, they've come to their senses. They're. They're paying for their crimes. But, you know, it is what it is. But, yeah, it's a really interesting dynamic. And some of the. Probably the hardest. One of the hardest jobs in the world is to work in that prison. And so the ministry opportunities for the. The people, the guards. [00:55:40] Speaker A: Right. [00:55:41] Speaker B: That they had the highest turnover rate of any organization I've ever seen. And I would. I would find that some of those guards were some of the most open and desperately needy people that needed ministry. You know, when we go in. So if people wanted to follow Dean Sykes, learn more about what you're doing, support what you're. What you're doing, how would they go? [00:56:04] Speaker A: About the easiest ways are our website just umatter Y O U M A T T E R us. It tells the story. It's there. We've got so many Free resources for parents, for teachers, for youth pastors. We just did a course on a book I wrote called Everything's Fine, and we did 12 videos with it. You can download the book at no charge. You can buy the book if you want to. You can get the course at no charge. I mean, it's just. We're on all the social media. It's just. Dean Sykes, it's not hard to find. [00:56:31] Speaker B: What does a typical week look like for you? [00:56:34] Speaker A: It's busy. Multiple schools, multiple cities that we're getting ready to go into. I know that we leave here, we're back to Chattanooga, where we live. We're in. I think we're in one city one morning in Arkansas. That afternoon, we're in another city, we're back home. The next day, I'm in the city. It's usually two to three, four cities a week. Then you put Sundays on top of that. Then you put television and taping and social media taping. So it's. Every day is pretty full. [00:57:04] Speaker B: If somebody wanted to bring you into a school, how would they go? About that? [00:57:07] Speaker A: Same way. Umatter us. There's a whole video there that talks about it. Our scheduling coordinator is constantly on the telephone with people who want us to come, or she's just calling schools herself. So it's a pretty simple process. [00:57:19] Speaker B: What would you say to a principal or an administrator that says, I don't know about this? [00:57:24] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. We've got a video about that on our side. But here's what I share with principals. I don't think you can have any authority in your life unless you're under authority. So when I come into a school, I ask the principal, tell me what my boundaries are, and I will not go past them. I'm not here to bring issues to you or get you to have phone calls from parents. [00:57:44] Speaker B: And you've got a stack of people who say that you've stood by that. [00:57:47] Speaker A: Oh, there's not a school that I've gone to that I could not go back to, because I do that. And if they say to me, I don't want you to talk about. About. Don't use the name Jesus. Won't happen. You know, share your testimony. Get them to raise their hands. I've had. I've had others, especially Native American Indian reservation schools, who say, boundaries. If you don't give an altar call for salvation, why are you here? And they looked at me and go, oh, I forgot. You don't remember where you are. You're in a nation within a nation. Yeah. And so when I do those schools, it's. It's unbelievable. [00:58:19] Speaker B: That's awesome. [00:58:19] Speaker A: Yeah. So we. [00:58:20] Speaker B: What is it with that? I've. I've found. You know how you see hot spots when you look at your listeners? [00:58:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:26] Speaker B: So we would see these hot spots pop up in, like, Oklahoma. And no idea why do we have all these listeners in some weird place in Oklahoma? And then we start to reach out to us and it was Indian reservations. [00:58:39] Speaker A: Yeah. I believe because they are very spiritual people and they want real. And I mean, I remember one in particular, a principal. I got through speaking, give an invitation. Hundreds got born again and he came to me. I was walking off, I was through. He says, you're not finished. Go back out there. Do what God tells you to do. I went back out there, I said, this Jesus I just introduced you to wants you to know that your life is worth living. And if suicide has been an option for you in the last 24 hours and you've got it planned and you want free, would you raise your hand? 27 kids. Wow. All because the principal said, you're not finished going out there. [00:59:16] Speaker B: That's amazing. [00:59:17] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm just grateful. [00:59:19] Speaker B: Well, I'm. We're grateful for you and grateful to introduce you to our audience. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Thank you for doing so. [00:59:24] Speaker B: Thank you for what you're doing. How can we pray for you going forward? [00:59:28] Speaker A: Strength, more open doors and more funding because we don't charge. [00:59:32] Speaker B: I understand. Well, let me do that right now. [00:59:35] Speaker A: Yeah, Please. Thank you, Father. [00:59:36] Speaker B: I lift my brother up to you. I do pray that you would continue to. To give him the gas that he needs in his. His physical tank, Lord, to accomplish the work that you have for him, God, the funding that he needs to accomplish the task and to do so in a healthy way. We pray that you would provide that for him as well. And continue to open doors that no man can close. We'll give you the glory for these kids. Lives that are changed in Jesus name. Amen. [01:00:00] Speaker A: Amen. Thank you. [01:00:01] Speaker B: Thank you for joining us. [01:00:02] Speaker A: Thank you. It.

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